. The Different Stages of Studying All Night |

Apr 18 2012

Phases of an All-Nighter

Published by at 9:00 am under Editorial

No one, and we mean not a soul on the planet, likes to pull an all-nighter in order to cram weeks of info into one night. When you combine hot coeds at the library, a hangover from the weekend activities, and the hated exhaustion at 3am, things can get pretty dicey on actually retaining what you’re doing.

But because every college kid will have night’s of falling asleep face first in a book or on a keyboard, we wanted to give you some warning signs to help you avoid zonking out. It’s bad to sleep and miss out on studying, but it’d be worse to completely sleep through the exam or deadline – so take these as a sign to grab a 5-Hour Energy should you get a bit groggy.

With Finals not too far away, it’s impossible to avoid pulling one of these things, but be prepared to at least attempt it, and you may actually pass the exam you’re studying for in the first place!

1. Coffee Overload

At this stage, your Student ID has basically become a $25 Starbucks gift card, as you down three cappuccinos and possibly an energy drink to get jacked for writing that paper. Thanks to messing around for a little bit too long (thanks Frat bros), you’re not getting started till midnight, and have about seven hours to type a 15-pager, or remember what the hell Freud was talking about?

2. Attention Deficit Disorder

Well, the energy defintiely hit you, except it’s on everyone’s status updates, tweets, and texting back and forth with your friend on the other side of the library about the hot chick he’s sitting by. Everyone needs a break or two – or so you convince yourself – so you’ll be fine to work in small increments… right?

3. Happy (Meal) Times

You’ve been going at it for a good three or four hours, accomplishing about 90 minutes worth of actual work. You know why you can’t focus? You’re hungry as all hell, so go ahead and take that 3am run to Micky D’s. Once you pop that greaseball into the back of your throat, you’ll be right back on track!

4. Beastmode

You may be mega full, but the food actually worked, and you’re back at it! It’s about 4am, and you’re cranking things out like Marshawn Lynch runs through tackles! Only a couple hours left, so a little more motivation and you’ll be ready to celebrate! Just suck it up and sprint towards the finish.

5. Drunken Beastmode

You’re growing really bored of sitting here doing this crap, and slap happiness is an understatement to describe your feeling. Time to say “screw it,” and break out the Jack D. Sure, only half of the paper’s actually done, but it sucks anyways, so time to have some fun while typing the rest of it.

6. Success

It’s 7:30am, you’ve made it through the night, and are still a little buzzed from the late-night shots. That drunken hook-up you took home from the library just woke up, so although your paper’s literally miserable, at least you can applaud yourself on socring a great piece of ass!

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