Apr 11 2012
Just the other day I went to one of the most extravagant birthday parties I’ve ever seen for a kid who clearly didn’t even remember it the next day. That’s because he turned one. The party itself was more fancy than most weddings I’ve been to and probably sweet 16′s and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs.
The theme was Sesame Street. They had an Elmo walking around. The cake must have been a grand. It was just ridiculous. Granted a fun time but clearly parties like that are about the parents and not the kid. They’re about status, not fun. But whatever. They are what they are.
But if there’s one thing I noticed. It’s the types of people you see at these things. And here are five that stood right out to me.
Older Women Who Try to Stay Young and Look Gross
These are the types of women you’ll see at nearly any rich person’s event. However, you’d be surprised how done up these women look for a party that features Elmo. We’re talking designer dresses. Hell some of these women looked like hookers. And they were easily in their mid 60s to early 70s. It’s a little disturbing. Plastic faces and trying to look like they were 20. Nasty.
Husbands that Have Given Up
This is the group of guys who all have kids and look like beaten men. They’re sitting there all disheveled. They usually wear their pants up high. Their hair is all messed up. They just don’t look right at all. Granted I suppose you see these types at any kids birthday party but come on.
Really Pissed off Single Women or Men
At a birthday party which primarily consists of couples, you’re always going to get your share of single people. And it’s at these events that they truly get pissed at their status. Sure some of them might be happy when they see parents dragging around their kids. But usually it’s the opposite. They’re upset because they haven’t started their own families or have even gotten married for that matter.
Horny Perverted Older Men
These are the husbands of the older women I was talking about. These are the gross guys with weird long hair and disgusting habits. These are men that just don’t care anymore and you’ll always catch them looking at the younger women at these parties in a way that makes you want to puke.
Couples that are Incredibly Mismatched
That’s the nature of rich people anyway. Rarely will you see two truly good looking people together at a wealthy party. It’s just the truth. And it could be a not so attractive woman with a handsome guy as well. I’m not trying to stereotype but the trophy spouse lives on and well at these parties.
The Kardashian Types
There will always be one or two teenage girls at these things wearing outfits that make you think to yourself “I never want children.” Teens today. Good God.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff