Apr 10 2012
Trust us, we’ve all had our share of bar crawls, end-of-semester celebrations, and black out’s to come across nearly every bartender possible. Most are a pleasant breed, and do a great job of getting us way too drunk for our own good, while others fit the stereotype to a tee!
Since you only remember if they were hot or not, we’ve compiled a list of four bartenders you meet at every single bar. Everyone knows they’re after one thing: cash. So it’s your call on whether or not you want to actually buy into their ploys, or stiff ‘em for whatever reason.
These tips will encourage you to save face, while trying to score free drinks all night. Bottoms up!
The owner of the pub always knows what’s up, and he’s paid his dues to late nights, early mornings and really crappy customers. This is the guy who runs the pub from open to close, doesn’t even try to care about your day, and almost expects you don’t give a damn about his. So just cut to the chase, order your drink, and whether or not you even leave a tip, this guy cares less.
The Bia Bia Bartender
This is not one bartender to mess with. She’s armed with bouncers behind the bar for a reason, and is ready to kick your ass out for looking at her the wrong way. Get in the (long) line, grab your drink, and get ready to leave a big tip, because it’s the only way you’ll even get a second nod from her. She’s the chick every girl talks crap about, but secretly envy inside. Oh, that, “Customer is Always Right” thing… it definitely doesn’t apply with this bad bia!
The Cool Bartender
Ladies, you better know you aren’t the only hot chick in the room that the cool bartender is making those extra strong drinks for. You also aren’t the only chick in the bar he smiles and winks at when ordering either. And bro’s, he doesn’t really care if you know the difference from a pale ale or IPA. He’s just happy you’re there to watch him do his thing, and you leave a tip. He enjoys exchanging pleasantries every once in awhile, but seriously… you aren’t that cool. He just is, so he’s doing you a favor when he seems interested in your problems.
The Deity of Liquor
She’s hot, she knows how to dance, and she knows how to make one hell of a stiff drink. She’s the most attractive woman in the bar, and the least likely for you to take home, yet you just can’t stop buying drinks from her, or adding on a big tip. You know she’s working whatever she’s wearing, and has confidence to spare. But don’t be fooled by her overt flirtiness, because she knows what she’s working with, and how to get those dollar-dollar bills!
Even More Uncoachable Stuff