Feb 23 2012
Like everything in life, there’s essentials that everyone must know. How to brush their teeth, how to wash themselves, and how to eat food. Being a guy is no different. It takes skill to avoid throwing your hand too early and be known as the intense creepy guy, while also trying to balance not falling in the friend zone and coming off as too nice.
Since being a guy shouldn’t be that difficult, we wanted to give you a couple things that every guy needs to know how to do. If you think perceived manly things like “changing your own oil,” or “hunting fish with your bare hands” makes this list, than you should consider consulting Bear Grylls, and not be reading us.
Lie to Get into a Nightclub:
There’s nothing worse than a dude who can’t back up his claims, so if you want to seem like you’ve got some pull, you’ll know how to score a couple spots in a trendy nightclub. Trust us, it takes some skill, but if you keep your cool, aren’t too pushy, and don’t treat the bouncer like he’s a, well, bouncer, than you’ll actually get to spend the night paying for overpriced drinks with your lady, rather than waiting for her to come out at closing time.
Correctly Style His Hair – Yes, this includes Facial:
We’ve gone on record admitting that bad hair can ruin our entire day, and as shallow as that seems, it shouldn’t be taken as a negative. If you think your looks bad, then there’s a good chance the people around you feel the same – even if the politely say it “looks fine.” Put some effort into your appearance, and maybe your wittiness and charm will actually get you somewhere. Oh and that beard, well, it shouldn’t look like Joaquin Phoenix if you’re planning on getting laid.
Throw a Party:
The most important thing when throwing a good party is to have fun. If your guests see that you’re stressing out about what they’re doing, than chances are you’re rubbing them the wrong way, and they won’t enjoy themselves. It’s crucial to have all the necessitates – good food, a variety of drinks, a blend of old and new music, and a balance of the sexes. Let’s face it, unless you’re planning to watch football all day, you’ll want the girl to guy ratio to be at least 2:1.
Cure a Hangover:
We’re not saying to cutout drinking entirely, because a good whiskey is necessary every once in awhile, but we’re telling you to know your limits so you don’t wake up in the morning feeling like the recipient of a couple hundred straight shots to the head. If you drink a little bit too much of the good stuff, it’s on you to be a fully functioning person before at least 10:30am the next morning. You’re not in college anymore, bro.
If you don’t know how to do this, we feel really bad for you. It’s not so much the action of having sex that every guy needs to know – it’s quite obvious we can do that – but it’s how to actually have the women enjoy it and continue to call or text you to want it more. If you’re a dick who leaves her covered in you know what, while taking a towel to yourself before her, than you’ve definitely got some learning to do.
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