Feb 10 2012
It’s no secret that some people are a little crazier than others. You tell someone you’re eating at McDonald’s, and they’ll freak out, telling you the meat’s bad, how awful it is for your diet, and that everything has sugar in it – as if we didn’t already know all this. That’s just a tame example.
In some people’s minds, it’s completely normal to be binging for three days straight, while hopped-up on codeine or some other crazy sh*t. We’re generally down to party our faces off, but what’s the point of a Vegas trip if we live it every night?
With the utmost respect to those who make our list, we’d never be caught asking any of these people for advice about anything – not that we’d probably every have the chance to anyway.
Charlie Sheen – PR Advice
Oh sure, like you didn’t see this one coming…? His history of snorting that cocaina aside, his absolute burnout through the entire “Two In A Half Men” bonanza was crazy as hell. Signing-up for twitter, posting pics with some smoking hot porn stars, and drinking tiger’s blood? What in the f*ck is this dude talking about? Only positive would be to quadruple our twitter followers within hours. #Winning
Lindsay Lohan – Sobriety Advice
Before bashing her, we must admit that Lohan is our ultimate Hollywood crush. Crazy? Oh, a complete whacko. But added with her tats and overall hotness, we don’t think there’s anyone we’d rather get in the sack. But if we’re looking for advice on how to stay off the wagon, she’s probably the last person to think about hollering at. Chick loves alchy more than we love boobs… and if you know us, you can vouch for how much that is.
Bernie Madoff – Financial Advice
Uh, we don’t really need to go into great detail, do we? The dude had it hooked-up as the non-executive chairman of the NASDAQ, till he decided he’d start bending the rules. He’s in the joint for 150 years – so, yeah, he’ll be long gone before he’s out – and after forfeiting over $17 billion, he was the brain behind the biggest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history. To put it bluntly, we wouldn’t trust him giving us advice on how to double our $1 bill if he was holding both bills in hand.
Lady Gaga – Fashion Advice
Gaga’s one of the biggest musicians going right now. Between concerts, albums and singles, the chick’s proven she can sing and dance her ass off. But unless we’re really trying to set a statement each time we head to work or to a bar, we’ll just stick with what we toss on. We’d prefer our other meat be touched…
Tim Tebow – Sex Advice
What an awful feeling it must be to know that the entire world knows you’ve never banged. Is he making millions of dollars? Sure. But guess what? So are porn stars, and they’re actually getting paid to do it. We had a friend back in college who once told us he ran into Tebow’s brother, drunkenly asked him about Timmy boy still having his V card, and got the response, “Ha, he really likes other things.” For as much as he advocates zero sex, we really doubt that.
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- When Adult Stars Drop Us The Bird
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- Wednesday’s Wash: When Porn Premises go Awry, Girl Shooting Pistol Fail, and a Very Cool Car
- Five Tips of Advice for Moving into a New Home
- Just the Tip Tuesday: Waking up To Megan Fox, Bar and Brooklyn, and The Arlington Rap