Feb 08 2012
Is it me or can you always remember the names of your elementary school teachers above all other teachers you’ve had in your lifetime. I mean I can remember every single teacher’s name from grades kindergarten through sixth. And yet all the years after that the memory seems to fade more and more.
Hell I couldn’t tell you one name of a teacher I had in college. Not a single one. Anyway, I guess that elementary school really leaves a stamp on a person, as do the teachers.
Here are five types of teachers we all had in elementary school….
The One with Horrible Breath
Is it me or did we always seem to have at least one teacher whose breath was absolutely horrible. My third grade teacher’s breath actually smelled like real poop. I’m not even kidding. Like the kind of foul smell you leave after a horrible Taco Bell type of meal. I mean how the hell does that happen?
The One with a Funny Last Name
My 4th grade teacher’s last name was Dykes. Yes I had a teacher named Mrs. Dykes. And I’m sure all of you had at least one teacher whose name you always made fun of. I think in 4th grade I had no clue what Dykes meant but obviously now I look back and can laugh at it.
The One Who Let you Do Anything
The funny thing when you look back at these types of teachers is that as a young person you just think they’re cool teachers. But as an adult you realize that most of these people were just lazy, stupid, or probably on drugs or alcohol. They were simply too lazy to care about teachers and thus came off cool to young kids because they simply didn’t care.
The One You’ll Always Remember
These were the all around great teachers who really left a stamp on you. To this day I’ll never forget my first grade teacher Mrs. Ilberg. She was just awesome. We always had fun activities and “special” days in class. And yet she was also smart enough and disciplined enough to establish her authority and not let you get away with stupid stuff that kids do. I honestly think she really shaped the rest of my elementary school “career.”
The One you Crushed On
Come on folks. Everyone had a teacher they thought was hot. Funny thing is that most of them were in their 20s, went out and got wasted on weekends, and we as kids had no clue about this. We just thought they were these high holy adults who looked awesome. Hell I’m sure some of the “hot” teachers I loved were extremely slutty in real life. I take comfort in that.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff