Feb 03 2012
It’s finally here, the Super Bowl. And unless you’re “just not into sports,” the likelihood of joining friends somewhere to watch the big game is pretty high. If you’re smart – and we think you are – you’ll avoid the big crowds at bars and enjoy the comfort of a couch and a TV within eyesight to watch.
But just because you’re either hosting your own or have gotten the invite to a party, doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. Remember, this isn’t an ordinary game, it’s the damn Super Bowl – it’s kind of a big deal.
Since you don’t want to show up holding a stale bag of Doritos and a half-eaten cheese block, we’re giving you the absolute no-no’s in order to be invited back again next year.
A Random Team’s Jersey
We get it, you’re not a Pats or Giants fan, and are a little indifferent about which team wins, but it’s a little outrageous to be rocking that Cam Newton Panthers jersey just because you’re watching a football game. Come to think of it, wearing a football jersey to a game is bad enough, so why don’t you just stick to a tee or something?
What on earth is more important than drinking beer and stuffing yourself during these four hours? Nothing. You could get away with this during the season to concentrate on your fantasy team, but your sh*t out of luck now dude. If it’s work you have to do, it better be to get ahead on Monday’s assignments – since you’ll be hungover from tonight – but even that’s just being lame.
No one wants to open the door and see you holding a bag of chips that have the “Chip Clip” on top of it. It’s an absolute party foul, and needs to be avoided. If you’re honestly that cheap and want to avoid the hassle of hitting up the supermarket, then at least put it in a bowl with some plastic wrap on top of it. It’s obvious why you did it, but not as grossly (literally) obvious as still having it in the bag. No one knows where that’s been.
Just like a football jersey, you’re definitely taking this whole watching the game thing a little too far. No one in a stadium wants to sit behind, next or even in front of you if you’ve got one of these dumb things around your hand, so think about what the person who’s stuck next to you on the couch is thinking… Exactly.
Don’t take this as a knock on her, we’re sure she’s fantastic at things, but being a football fan isn’t one of them. We’re also quick to say this is strictly for girlfriends only. Wives understand that the Super Bowl’s one night a year, and deals with the fact that you’ll be toning her out while being a complete bro for the entire time. The girl you met at the bar a couple weekends ago doesn’t get that, and she’ll be a pain in the ass unless she’s really into cooking appetizers for you.
Wrong football pal. Why’s this even make our list? Because we actually had a friend who brought one to watch a game, found it necessary to blow into it, and decided to be the most annoying person we’ve ever met. Show up with this, and risk the probability of not even getting through the door.
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