Jan 16 2012
The 69th Annual Golden Globes were held tonight – and yes, we’re laughing at the number too. It’s a night when Hollywood’s elite come together and drink champagne, mingle amongst each other, and pray to God thatÂ the host doesn’t roast them.
But while watching these stars flaunt their stuff and read from a teleprompter, it got us thinking – “Could we ever win a Golden Globe?” I mean, there’s success stories every year of people who are unknowns, somehow falling into a Producer’s lap, and next thing we know is on the cover of every mag talking about how they’re the next big thing.
We’re not necessarily thinking about quitting our day jobs – or night jobs for that matter, but if we were, this is how we’d plan on winning a Golden Globe.
Latch onto George Clooney
It’s no secret every bro pretty much has a mancrush on this dude. We actually think if you’re a guy and deny it, than something’s probably really wrong with you. He jumps from exotic model to smokin’ hot model all the time, and does whatever he wants. Besides just his dating habits, the dude’s talented as all hell, and everyone in Tinseltown loves him. So if you want to increase your chances of scoring an award – which he did with two nominations from different flicks tonight – we’d do whatever it takes to have Clooney notice.
Do A Lot of Crappy Things for About 10 Years
If you missed the DeMilleÂ award won by Morgan Freeman tonight, than you missed this little piece of excellence he did while on “The Electric Company” back in the day. Sure, Freeman seems to pretty much own any role he’s ever in, but the truth is, it’s not always that easy. If you’re constantlyÂ recognized as a solid actor, and respected amongst your peers, than one day you’ll find yourself nominated for one of those big-time awards. Hollywood looks at it as a acknowledgement of your persistance.
Make An Unexpected Comeback
Remember back in ’08 when Mickey Rourke came from nowhere to win a Golden Globe for his role in The Wrestler? Well this is just the type of comeback Hollywood loves to see, and there’s a couple different ways to go with it.
The easiest one is the Lohan-to-be route, where your career kicks off early, you have success, and then you fall into the whole drug thing; before the meteoric riseÂ back into Hollywood glory. Your applause seems to be never-ending, and it’s more of a, “Glad you didn’t kick the bucket” Award more than anything else – but at least you get one last hurrah before heading back to rehab a couple months later.
Screw Hollywood and Take Over European Films
It’s easy to love the glitz and glam of sunny California, but when everyone’s heading out West to pursue an acting career – or bus tables for the next eight years, we’ll be on that flight to Europe to try and get lucky. You see, it always seems that the finest movies no one has heard of come from France or Italy, and they always win. Forget about trying to keep up with the Bennies in L.A., we’d rather have a nomination without any doubt. Or “C’est dans la poche,” – which in French literally means, “it’s in the bag, a sure thing, or done deal.”
Even More Uncoachable Stuff