. Laws This Country Needs to Function Better |

Jan 11 2012

Four General Laws that Will Never Happen Which Would Make Society Way More Functional

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

There are some laws that will simply never get passed in this country.   And for the most part, these laws won’t get passed not because they will make our country better but because they will interfere with critical financial responsibilities.   It’s a sad truth but it’s a truth nonetheless.

I mean think about smoking.   You think that industry would ever get shut down even though our country and everyone on the planet knows that cigarettes are bad for you?  I mean when you look at it like a simpleton it makes zero sense that something that dangerous would be legal and yet people are puffing it up all the time.

I’m not trying to write an essay or preach here.   I don’t want to get into a 6 page long discussion on this.  I’m just saying I think there are certain laws we could have in this country that would simplify things and make our society run a bit more smoothly.

Here are four that come to mind….

There Should be a Law on Who Gets to be a Parent

I guess you could say something similar to the whole one per couple law they have in China.  But this isn’t an issue of overcrowding.   This is an issue of many people, in face most people in this country not being fit to be parents.    Most people are idiots and the fact that you can just have a baby with no consequence is very hard for me to swallow.  There should be a series of tests, interviews, screens, to determine whether a couple or person is fit to be a parent.  Then and only then can they get a license which would allow them to start trying to get pregnant.   Call it survival of the fittest pregnancy program.   It would take about 20 years for our country to genetically shape up.

A REAL tried and true Texting in a Car Law

Yeah sure we have laws against texting in cars but come on.  Are they really enforced?   I mean think about how many people DON’T get caught texting or talking on their phones in the car.    Personally I think there should be some sort of tracking or camera in a car that shows the driver and as soon as the person is caught texting, the authorities are notified and a very heavy fine is imposed.   There has to be an auto way of doing this.  Depending on the cops seeing this on the road is totally useless.

National Healthcare Program

I don’t want to get all political here.   In fact this article is more speculation and hope than anything else.  However, being a self employed individual who pays for his own healthcare, I do think a nationalized system of healthcare where every person is entitled to receiving healthcare would be a step in the right direction for our country.  Again, I’m not laying out the actual plan here.  Just saying we should all have it.

Outrageous Fines for Small Offenses

This is just in general.   The issue here is that I think the country would lose critical money needed from the morons of our country for continuously doing things like park illegally or jaywalk.  But imagine the fines for these offenses were like $10,000.  You think we’d be seeing as much law breaking?   Or how about Chris Rock’s idea of charging people over $1000 per bullet if they choose to have a gun?  You think there’d be as much gun use?   Think about it.





Even More Uncoachable Stuff

16 responses so far

  • jandhyde

    I’m curious how much you’ve thought this through…

    1) Who gets to decide who gets to have a kid? I’ve seen social workers who don’t give two shits about the children they take from their parents. I’ve seen politicians that think a gay couple shouldn’t be able to adopt because homosexuality is a sin.

    2) So you want the government to be able to monitor your texts at all times? What about phone calls while driving? And what happens if you’re using your GPS in your phone while driving, should that be punished as well? What if you butt dial someone, should you be fined for that? And how would they know if you butt dialed someone, should they monitor your actual conversation?

    3) I’m not touching the healthcare issue, waaay too much work involved.

    4) Should you be fined $10,000 for going 1 mph over the speed limit? What if you’re slowing down to the proper speed limit but don’t brake fast enough? At what point do you draw the line? And what’s to stop someone from making their own bullets, should they be fined for that as well? What about police, should they be charged $1,000 for bullets? And who gets to decide the price of bullets?

    Some laws seem really nice on the surface but in reality, when you start to enforce laws for such minor victimless crimes you become a draconian state and that’s just no fun. Besides, maybe what you see as a good law, someone else sees as a bad law. And if you give someone the power to enforce those tiny laws, what happens when they start to enforce things that you don’t want to follow?

    It amazes me how people push and push to enforce their view of morality but ohhh no, when someone else wants to enforce their own view of morality people cry foul.

  • randy marsh

    You say these things, i do not think they mean what you think they mean.

  • Maul

    1: Seriously? I know a lot of idiots are having children, but if this law ever came into effect, I would be the first person leading the rebellion against our new police state. We can’t agree on so many social issues as it is, do you want either political party making the choice over who can and can’t have kids? This is a very dangerous ideology.

    2: Texting should be illegal in a car. But I don’t agree with losing freedoms to prove it. I say just make it a big fine, 500 dollars plus. It won’t happen twice by the same person.

    3. I live in Canada. Our health care sucks, they generalize your condition (probably just blahblah take advil) until you come back several times and they actually do something, and you wait hours on end everytime. And boo hoo you have to pay for your own healthcare, why shouldn’t you be personally financially responsible for it?

    4. Seriously, 10 grand for parking tickets? I’m sure you have never gotten a stupid parking ticket before. Or been in a rush, and were only gonna be a min, so you parked there for 1 min? Come on.

    The 1000$ dollar a bullet theory is stupid. 1, hunting is still a thing people do and should have the right to do. Second gun rights are a very important thing (and your 1000 dollar a bullet theory will only bankrupt the people buying them legally, criminals tend to steal things or buy them illegally).

    You are a communist.

  • Tyger

    I can’t really agree with this article. It seems well thought out on the surface, but not in reality. The article claims these laws are made purely for financial reasons, not considering the fact that the constitution protects people’s rights against some of the laws theorized.
    1)Sounds a lot like it could be abused by the government to rid the world of “bad genes” aka “bad races”
    2)Meh, too lazy for an argument here, look at the other comment.
    3)I won’t get into this due to lack of knowledge
    4)I agree with Jandhyde, it seems good in theory, but what happens when the minor offenses that YOU and not other “idiots” do are heavily fined. Also gives the government too much.

  • bleep

    seems like you’ve got a case of i take shit too seriously

  • eelsoftheworld

    I’m sorry, I have to agree with Hyde here. I’m not sure how well you’ve thought your theories through. They seem very heavy handed for the types of sensitive issues you’re dealing with. You seem to have hit the nail on the head of which issues need reform, I’m just not sure your ideas of how to reform are very practical.

    For instance. Say I’m a person who would like to have a child, but the odds are stacked against me. I have bipolar disorder, but I’m on medication and the symptoms are nil. I’d be an excellent mother or father, but I’ve been in trouble before, perhaps for something that was blown out of proportion. What if I simply just didn’t do well in the interview, or the interviewer didn’t like me?

    Would that mean I could not have children, even though I was still genetically viable?

    Plus, and I don’t want to get into this too far, but what about people that are raped or coerced? What if you had a child without a license? Would you be punished for such things and how?

    It seems very much to smack of punishing the woman, too, so I’m not sure how that would go. I can see this turning into a dystopian novel.

    And really, it sounds like it’s getting far too close to eugenics. Would people discriminate against black people because many of them come from less smooth backgrounds? What about just New Yorkers? Or people from poorer parts of the country, just because they have less financially.

    A background check doesn’t determine whther you’re going to be a good or bad parent or not. Things change. Balances change. I’ve seen people who have great upbringings, nurses, doctors, childcare workers, who everyone said would make great parents, turn into abusive fucks. So there’s that too.

    I know it’s frustrating. And these things need to be addressed, I’m just not sure such methods are plausible, let alone doable.

  • Erik D

    This is the dumbest, most ill-informed article I’ve ever read. It’s not intelligent or funny, I don’t know where the author is going with this

  • Emanon

    Rather than licensing people to have children (which could only work if you couldn’t PHYSICALLY have a child without said license would NEVER work)…but what about encouraging sterilization with some kind of monetary bonus? Government subsidized vasectomies. Come in and get snipped and we’ll cut you a check for a couple hundred bucks. The kind of people that would be so hard up for cash that they would give up their ability to reproduce may very well be the kind of people that we don’t want reproducing in the first place.

    I think that idea has a lot better chance at being effective in not only curbing the population growth, but weeding out the people that just don’t need to be parents in the first place.

  • Jacob Jones

    Yeah that outrageous fine thing, is unconstitutional, as in it’s specifically against the bill of rights, (aka, the REALLY important part of the constitution) so, yeah, maybe you should now the supreme law of the land, before you go ahead and suggest laws

  • John

    You would have never been born if number 1 happened.
    You really didn’t think all of this through.

  • scootah

    There’s a lot of evidence in criminology that penalty severity doesn’t have much of a deterrence factor. Especially not where behaviors are engrained. If you want to deter people – increase the likelihood that they’ll get caught.

    A $200 fine for illegal parking that will be applied 90% of times when jay walk is a much more effective deterrent than a 10,000 fine that you can avoid by looking for cops first.

  • Red Stripe

    This is pure stupidity. There are already too many stupid restrictive laws, fines and penalties. We don’t need more crimes. What would make this country great again is a return to individual civil liberties. Each of these laws flies in the face of the Libertarian principals that this country was founded on.

    1) You cannot restrict reproductive rights. Parenthood is not something the government should regulate or stick its nose into unless a child is in danger.
    2) Tracking or camera in a car? Ever read 1984? How about illegal searches and seizures. I don’t want the cops with a camera or tracking device on me….ever.
    3) Health Care – I’m on the fence on this one. It works in other countries and our current system is not working now. I don’t have an opinion here.
    4) Outrageous fines? For what, more police pensions and prisons? A father of 3 working 2 part time jobs making $20k a year parks 1 foot too close to a fire hydrant. You’re going to take away half his income for that? Congratulations now you’ve just thrown a family out on the street and the father is jobless and in prison because he can’t pay the fine. That’s just sick and heartless. Obviously you need to go to empathy school.

  • katie

    Wow, really? A camera in your car? I would feel absolutely violated if I was forced to have any sort of tracking device or camera in my car. My only traffic offense was not coming to a full stop at a stop sign. There is no way I would let anyone stick a freaking camera in my car.

    Although I wish there was some genetic abnormality that made people unfit to be parents sterile, I would never be okay with the government being able to decide who had children. You’re basically saying that you want the government involved in people’s sex lives. What happens if they’re against birth control but the government decides they’re not fit to be parents. They just can’t have sex? Yeah, no freaking thank you.

    I do agree that we need nationalized healthcare but the current plans for one are far from perfect.

    It’s been proven that the death penalty does not act as a deterrent from crime. If the ultimate “fine” for crime doesn’t deter people, why do you think outrageous monetary fines will? And I’m sorry, I don’t believe for one second that you have NEVER jaywalked in your life. You have never once crossed a street without using a crosswalk? EVER? Drop the “idiots who jaywalk” attitude because you sound like the moron. We have something in the US that is called no cruel and unusual punishment. Punishment should be fitting of the crime, not blown into outrageous proportions that would make some people HOMELESS over a parking ticket.

    Honestly I was shaking my head the entire way through this article. You sound like a 12 year old little boy who thought about this for maybe three seconds before publishing it.

  • Daisjun

    Wow. Where to begin.


    ‘Most people are idiots…’ Well that’s obviously a well researched fact right there. And to suggest having children has ‘no consequences’ is ludicrous. I think the mere idea that you are responsible for fostering a life is a pretty serious consequence of having children. There are already child protection laws in place and beyond that the government has no right to have a say in how a child should be raised. And 20 years you say? What’s that based on? Decades of Harvard research?

    Tracking devices in cars

    This would give police unprecedented (and abusable) powers. How is this going to be implemented? And ‘Depending on the cops seeing this on the road is totally useless.’ Again, evidence?

    Outrageous fines for small offenses

    Do you actually know the meaning of the word ‘outrageous’? ‘Being beyond all reason’ is a good start. What you’ve in effect done is right from the beginning, deemed your idea completely beyond the bounds of what would be feasibly accepted by society.

    Also, ever heard of a little thing called the ‘three strikes law’? Life sentences have been considered (and in some cases given) for such things as stealing a slice of pizza, golf clubs, cookies, a few children’s video tapes, refusing to pay for an air-conditioning repair, submitting a false application under law and breaking into a soup kitchen. Were the criminals in any of these circumstances dissuaded by such a harsh penalty? Have a look at some Californian case law…also while you’re there, check out the 8th amendment, it’s a hoot.

    The idea of heavy punishments for trivial crimes ignores the deeply rooted social and psychological issues surrounding crime. Without these addressed, crime will continue. The only thing that will change is the number of injustices.

    And $1000 a bullet you say? You told us you got this idea from a comic’s stand up routine? Well then, I’m satisfied, it must be foolproof…because all crimes are committed with weapons and ammunition bought from over the counter.

    Can I just say, before posting something on the internet that addresses so many complex and difficult issues in society, some debated by governments and social experts all around the world for decades, consider these few points:

    - None of the issues you’ve presented has an easy answer
    - None of the answers you’ve provided come even close to providing a solution, or even a valid or intelligent thought
    - Do some research. You’ll soon see why none of what you say makes any sense
    - I’m not even from the US, yet I know more about your laws and social issues than you do
    - Your article is neither factual nor funny (you were trying to make us laugh right?) and hence falls into the vat of depressing
    - I only read this article because cracked.com linked it to me, usually what they link is worth a read but this? Think you fell well short of the mark, I’ll have a word to them about that

  • TRD

    Scratch a liberal, find a fascist.

  • the david

    1: look up th Sterilization of 1933. and see how evil it was.
    2: about just losing your txting rights for a time.
    3: find a way to make it work
    4: thats a good way take form th peplo and only punsh the poor. most fines work as the are. it’s the company fine that need to go up.
    5: that would make the gun probem wose



Uncoached Sites

Celebrity Toob

Celebrity Gossip, Pictures, Videos, Net Worth & Bios