Jan 09 2012
So you declared yourself a Management major, dread going to Accounting classes, yet still think that you’ll be running your own business once you graduate. That could all very-well happen, but why go the hardest route to get there?
Look, employers don’t really care what the major says, they’re just glad you’ve got a college degree and some experience. If you know how to talk, you know how to score yourself the job you want.
1. Because You Were Drunk Through Most of College Anyway
Everyone knows what happens in college – you got mega-hammered, so there’s no point in disguising this when putting together your resume. Do you really remember what the hell your professor was talking about that first semester of Frosh year? If you said yes, you’re lying, because you probably showed up to class half the time. And chances are if you were actually there, it was only to take a test – which you consequently failed.
2. You “Had a Distinct Advantage”
Are we suggesting you cheat? No, never. We don’t pin people like that; it’s just not our style. But let’s just admit you had a couple of advantages if you ever really wanted to. How? Easy. Roommate takes the same class a semester before you, snaps a couple shots of an exam on his phone – BOOM, you’ve got yourself at least a B even before you register. It’s a good feeling when you know you don’t need to do a damn thing in order to bump up that GPA.
3. Unless You’re Going to Be a Doctor or Engineer, You Just Had Fun
Doctors are important, and that’s the reason they go to school for seven years. Engineers? Well they need to make sure things to fall apart when they’re not supposed to. Sure, Marketing Reps, Account Execs, and Admin Assistant’s are important too – just not enough to stress out about over school. We know Bio major’s that are Social Media and Marketing Manager’s, English major’s that run their own biz, and Early Childhood Development grads that Host their own TV show. So does that tell you anything about what it really says on that diploma?
4. It’s Who You Know, Not What You Know
It goes without saying that this has been around for years. It’s like the damn bible to graduating college. Make good contacts while in school, and no matter what that little diploma says, the people who like you (or your parents), will find some sort of gig for you. How do you think W got that little job he had back in the day?
5. In the End, It’s About What You Like to Do
Five to ten years after graduation, do you really think you’ll be happy sitting in a cube and talking about your weekend with co-workers? Getting a paycheck’s great, but you know what’s better? Getting a paycheck and writing your own story. If you’re passionate about something, then flick that middle-finger in the air and tell corporate America to sit on it! Love pizza? We’re not judging, go ahead and deliver it for more time to do what you want… or start your own chain. It worked for Papa John!
Even More Uncoachable Stuff