Jan 06 2012
Having been in the workforce for a decade now, I can appreciate jobs that truly suck while at the same time marvel at jobs that I totally envy. And I’m not talking about jobs I have no skill or aptitude for. For example, I just don’t think that I could be a rock star right now. I’m not particularly good at any instruments and I don’t have a band together.
Or I couldn’t be a pro basketball player. I’m not tall enough. I’m 32 years old. And my basketball skills just aren’t what they used to be. Point is, I don’t want to be unrealistic about my choices in jobs I’d do for free.
I tried to be as “real” as I could here. Real as in I have the skill set to do these jobs. It’s just that the chances of me actually getting these jobs are about zero…..
High School or College Sports Coach
Currently I’m coaching a bunch of nine year old’s in hoops. It’s fun and all but the issue is that at 9, these kids really don’t listen. They just want to scrimmage all the time. At the high school and collegiate levels, there’s a lot riding on the players so they tend to do what you tell them to do. It would be awesome to stick to a plan and watch my players carry out that plan. If there are any high schools out there looking for a coach, I’m in, free of charge.
TV Sportscaster for Professional Sports
I think this is probably most mens dream. I mean all of us love to sit down and watch the game. And equally we like to bitch at the newscasters and games themselves. In all of us is a guy who’d love to be in that broadcast booth. And this guy? Well I’d do it for nothing. It would be awesome.
Lifeguard at the Playboy Mansion
I say this because I was actually a lifeguard at one point in my life. And I’m pretty certain that if Hef is throwing a party and the pool is in use, a lifeguard is definitely mandatory. I’ll have to ask my buddy who works for Playboy what the real scoop on that is. Bottom line? I loved lifeguarding at a country club and there I got paid. Pretty sure I wouldn’t need a dime to lifeguard for Hugh.
Stand Up Comedian
I used to do stand up back in the day and I didn’t get paid for it. Now I simply don’t have the time. But if and when I can get back into it, I certainly will. There’s no bigger rush than when hundreds of people laugh at something because you made it up. Trust me, it’s a thrill.
Food, Travel Critic
I’m pretty sure I can write how I feel about food or the places I’ve been. And to eat in the finest restaurants and stay in the finest hotels would not take any compensation on my end. That’s more than enough to kick ass for a very long time.
*I’d say porn star but let’s face it. My penis isn’t nearly big enough and there’s just no way I could perform in front of that many people. No chance.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff
- 5 Jobs That are Great Younger But Get Shadier as You Get Older
- Five Things I’d Do Differently Back in High School if I Had the Brain I Have Now
- The Five Best Jobs You Had When you Were Young
- Five “If I could do it Again” Scenarios I’d Like Back
- Four Things I’d Be Happy To Pay For Today that I Bitched About When they Were Free