. The Best and Worst Things About the Winter Season |

Dec 08 2011

The Best and Worst Things About Winter

Published by at 9:00 am under Editorial

So it’s finally back – the winter. And unless you’re either a) used to the cold weather because you choose to live in cities like Chicago or Denver, or b) actually like to be depressed with gray days for the next three months; you’re probably not too happy about it being here.

As much as we love the thought of cuddling around a fire and drinking hot chocolate, we’d much rather be on the beach around bikini-clad women, or barbecuing and drinking all day.

All’s not lost though, since there actually are some things that we can take away from the sleet and snow that lies ahead.


1. Pro – The Gym

No, we’re not a fan of the bros who decide a Monster energy drink is what they need to get through their workout, all while hitting on every piece of ass that walks by. We are fans of the pieces of ass they’re talking to though, which is why we can deal with the overcrowded weight room and the 30-minute limit on the treadmill. What other time of year is it okay to do a spin class? Never… unless it’s filled with chicks in short spandex.

2. Con – Coats Everywhere You Go

Damnit we hate this part about winter. Just when we feel good in a button down and jeans, we have to cover it up and constantly look like the Stay-Puft Marshallow Man. We can’t remember the last time a man got a hand job in a puffy jacket, and we doubt we’ll find out anytime this winter.

3. Pro – The Holidays

If you think for one second we don’t like spending time with our family and friends, free presents, and a reason to stuff our face, we’d absolutely never want to meet you. People argue that everything’s so commercialized that it ruins everything, but if that’s the worst thing you can say about the holidays, then we’d say everything’s pretty dope. Push comes to shove – drink, drink, drink.

4. Con – Shoveling Snow

It’s just miserable thinking about it. The days when you’re ready for work, only to notice your car’s surrounded by two feet of snow and it’s 10 degrees out, kind’ve puts a damper on your day. The only good that comes out of that is the excuse you can “kind’ve” get away with when calling the office to explain the situation. But you’ll eventually have to get out there since it’s “socially demanded” to clear a path from the snow. Damn rules.

5. Pro – The Spring Is Right Around the Corner

The internet lets us remember what hot girls really look like long enough without pulling out our hair and going crazy. What the hell did people do before computers? Add in the optimism of using all our holiday cash for a weeklong getaway to Florida, and it’s just enough to get us through this.

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