. Why Going to Theme Parks Totally Sucks |

Nov 18 2011

Five Reasons Why Going to Theme Parks Totally Sucks

Published by at 7:21 am under Editorial

So yeah, I just went to Walt Disney World.    It was a 4 day trip and I’m now officially sick.   I’m convinced it’s because I over did it at this place.  It was just me and the wife and we wound up doing 6 parks in four days.   While I can safely say we had a great time, I can also say without a doubt I won’t be returning for quite some time.

And parents out there?  How in the hell do you do this? Seriously.   If I have my way I will never take a child under the age of 10 to Disney World.  No friggin’ way.

Just in case you need to know why, here are five reasons to avoid theme parks….

It’s Overpriced

Clearly that’s number one on the list.   Every single Disney park in Florida costs 90 bucks to get into.  Yeah, 90 bucks JUST to enter the place.   That doesn’t account for food or any other crap that you’ll 100% wind up buying.   Granted there’s some cool stuff to do but man, 90 bucks is awfully high.  That’s like paying a 90 dollar cover charge to a bar where drinks aren’t free.  But people pay these prices without even hesitating so you can’t blame the parks for charging that much.

The Waits on Line are Unacceptable

The nice thing about Disney is that all the rides give you an approximate waiting time.  The bad news is that most of the great rides have waits of 45 minutes or longer.  I saw one ride that had a 100 minute waiting time!  Seriously.  Who the hell would wait that long for a five minute ride?  I guess tons of people.   But that seriously blows.  I mean a quarter of your day can be spent waiting for one ride that might even make you puke.  Not worth it.

Screaming Children, Hell Any Children

I’m sorry but kids screaming is simply not my idea of a vacation.  It really isn’t.   You really have to be prepared for this.  Especially while waiting on line.   The one thing I am jealous about with kids is that they get their own strollers which brings me to my next point.

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2 responses so far

  • Steven

    We went last year with my 3 year old. I carried him half the time. And by day 2 my feet were destroyed.

  • Greg

    As a former Walt Disney World castmember I myst say you missed the mark.

    Yes 90$ seems a bit much, but do you think about what that pays for. I worked at Disney’s Animal Kingdom where they have a full Safari with live animals on a 300 acre savannah, they conduct research, do all the vet work (if you get there on time you can watch, I enjoyed the tiger tooth cleaning) every animal there is an endangered species of some sort. While I was there 2 White rhinos were born among many other primates (again endangered) beyond the savannah they have 2 walking trails with gorillas or tigers or anything you can imagine. Now yes a zoo does not charge 90$ but the zoo does not have all the attractions and a near assurance that every castmember you meet will be more than pleased to help. There is the level of cleanliness, parades, shows, and countless other things at each of the parks (the fireworks show at EPCOT alone costs over 40,000$ a night)

    This and everything else offered if you think about it is worth 90$ and if you want to bring your own food and water or soda nobody says anything, you don’t have to buy anything.

    Ya the waits kinda suck just pick a better time of year to go solves the people problem as well.



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