. Five Masculine College Moves That Get Old |

Oct 10 2011

Five Masculine College Moves That Aren’t Cool Anymore

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

There are probably hundreds of things you did in college that seemed cool at the time and now you wouldn’t be caught dead doing them.  Just to name a few.  How about staying out until 4am on a Tuesday?  Eating Ramen a few times a day for a week straight?  How about puking from drinking and them drinking more (the boot and rally)?

In the real world this type of behavior generally doesn’t cut it.   And for men?  Our behavior really doesn’t cut it.  I mean there’s crap you do as a guy that just seems so lame these days.

Here are five things that particularly get old….

Making Fun of Someone For Not Drinking Enough

The days of “you’re such a pussy, keep drinking” should be over.  But if you’re in your 30s and you have that guy still trying to pull that crap?  It just sounds a little stupid at this point doesn’t it?  I mean drink for what?  So I can feel like shit going to work on Monday?  No.   Plus if you have kids, forget about it.

Anything Weight Lifting Related

I think it’s safe to say that after the age of 30 when your body starts feeling things, lifting heavy weights is kind of a thing of the past.   I don’t fault people for lifting weights as I still do.  But talking about it and being all “male” about it just seems stupid.  What you bench in college brings some status.  What you bench in the real world means nothing unless you are a weight lifter.

Staying Out Really Late and Bragging About it

If someone tells me they were out until 3AM I usually respond with “man that sucks.”  Whereas in college it’s more of a competition to see when the other guy actually came in.   Anything past 2AM will pretty much destroy me these days.  Hell I go to bed before 11 every night.


Unless you’re addicted to tobacco, who the hell dips these days?  Rednecks and losers that’s who.  That and dudes who still need to cling to every single semblance of “maleness.”  It’s gross, unhealthy, and has zero redeeming qualities.

Carrying Around a Bottle or Flask

In college you’re a badass if you have a bottle all the time.  A flask means easy access to alcohol 24/7.  Today?  You’re an alcoholic.



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