For the last 6 months or so I’ve let the locks grow.  I’m not trying to be all Tom Brady or anything but it’s been a while since I’ve had long hair.   The reason I bring this up is because sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself “do I look like a dick?”

I mean there are times I have to slick the hair back and I wonder if people think I’m a slimy looking guy.   Lots of folks have actually said they like the look so I’ll assume it’s not horrible.

However, here are six looks that you simply can’t rock as a male….

The Emo Whatever Look

In this day and age seeing the Emo look makes me more aggravated than ever.  If there’s one time in American society to actually “care,” it’s now.  And the Emo look is the ultimate sign that someone doesn’t care.

The Faux Hawk

If you’re gonna rock the mohawk look than friggin’ rock the mohawk look.  Don’t just spike your hair up and look like an idiot.  This makes zero sense to me.

The Comb Over

Just have the courage to go bald guys!  No need to look like you’re trying to have hair only to have people know that you are truly bald and probably an asshole.

The Mohawk

Well I did mention that it takes courage to have a mohawk.  That doesn’t mean it’s a sane thing to do.   I can’t think of one possible reason to sport this look.

The Jersey Shore Look

Any kind of ridiculous gel or product look with spikey bullshit is prohibited in my book.  Though I do like Pauly D.   He’s a fun dude.  Stupid hair though.

A Toupee or Plugs

For God’s sake please don’t do this.  Please, oh please don’t.