. Uncoached - Six Horrible People You See at the Movies |

Sep 13 2011

6 People you Pray Don’t Show up to Your Movie

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

You guys might think I’m a little weird here but I generally prefer to go to the movies by myself and during really odd times of the day.    By odd times I’m referring to before noon so that I can watch the movie for half the price and practically watch the movie with an empty theater.

Think about it.    You may be psyched to go to a movie on a Friday night but half the time the theater is crowded and 100% of the time you’re going to run into some people you really didn’t want to show up to your particular movie.

Here are six such nightmarish people….

The Annoyingly Loud Cell Phone Person


We all know these people.   Despite how many warnings movies issue prior to the movie starting, if you’re in a crowded theater you are going to hear a cell phone.  It’s bound to happen.   And even if you don’t hear a phone you’ll still see the lights of phones on for the duration of the movie.  Is it that hard to turn your shit off for 2 hrs?  If you get an actual cell phone talker?  You should shoot them right then and there.

The Person who Makes you Move to get a Seat


While you should adhere to doing your best to make sure everyone has a seat, it’s still annoying as hell when you get those people who say “do you mind moving over so we can sit down too?”  I know it’s the right thing to do but it’s still annoying, especially when you have all your food and got comfortable in your seat.

The One who Laughs at Everything


Nothing ruins a comedy more than over laughing.   I want to laugh at a movie but I swear it’s horrible when some stupid moron laughs at every single thing.  You then start to focus on them instead of the movie and it’s absolutely brutal.  I cannot stand the dumb laughers.  I really can’t.

The Person who Takes your Armrest


Let’s face it.  An armrest is huge at the movies.  You might not even use it but you want to know that you can.   Nothing chaps my ass more than when I sit down the dude or gal next to me’s got that armrest taken.  It kind of chops my dignity off you know?

The Overweight Person


Admit it folks.   There are some people who really shouldn’t be sitting in seats at the theater.   It’s the same thing when you go on a plane.  You might not vocalize it but deep down you’re hoping you don’t sit next to someone who can take up two seats.  I’m not saying this to be mean.  I’m saying it because it’s true.

The Wrapper Noise Person


Could you please not open your bag of chips during the film?  Jesus man.  Do it before for God’s sake.





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