Aug 12 2011
I’m not sure at what age you have the right to just live your life without caring but I’m guessing it’s late 60s or early 70s. At this stage in live you kind of “made it” and if you’ve gone this far, might as well live out your days in style right?
However, I use the word “Style” a bit differently here. Here I’m referring to not giving a damn anymore. And that goes for the clothes you wear, the hairstyles you might have, and social conventions that go out the window.
Here are six visible signs old people don’t care anymore….
The Parading Nudity in Gym Locker Rooms
I for one don’t like my penis to be exposed to strangers for long periods of time. Old folks? They don’t care. They don’t even remotely care. And I’ve seen some messed up stuff going on. I guess when you reach a certain age all bets are off, including wearing clothing when you don’t need to.
The Extremely High Waste line
Have you ever pulled up your pants really high? To tell you the truth it’s a pretty damned comfortable feel. So why not feel comfortable all the time? Same goes for those weird old people sneakers. You realize how comfortable these people must be? If only I had the courage to pull the pants up high and wear Frankenstein style shoes. Oh that and humongous sun glasses.
The Comb Over
I used to think the Comb Over was something that balding men used to cover up their baldness. Now I’m fully convinced that it’s a style all on its own. Why? Because people who do the comb over HAVE to know how ridiculous it looks. And with that knowledge I’m gonna give some credit to the old people. Rather than trying to conceal they’re just saying “screw it, this is my new hair style.”
Anything Related to Driving
Jerry Seinfeld said it best with his theory on old people and driving…”I’m old…and I’m backin’ out!” Whether it’s really slow driving or maniacal fast driving, the elderly really don’t care how they drive. Sure it might be their senses and what not but I don’t buy it. They’ve gotten this far in life, why not roll the dice and drive how you feel like it?
The high black socks. Honestly I don’t have much of an explanation on this one. I just know it’s true.
The Touching of Younger Women
This is probably the biggest benefit to being old. You can pretty much grope younger chicks and it’s seen as cute rather than disgusting. I plan on fully taking advantage of this some day.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff