Aug 10 2011
Ever read a paragraph that was way too long and completely unnecessary? Then you’ll get what I’m getting at here. Ever hear a salesperson use a bunch of annoying words that you just don’t need to hear?
While it’s prevalent everywhere, business is where you see the most bullshit when it comes to speaking. People use all this dumb jargon to appear smarter, more “into it” and as if they have their shit together.
In reality they’re all as dumb as they look yet they keep using these terms again and again. Here are ten terms/phrases in the world of business that I hate…..
“At The End of the Day”
You mean “bottom line?” which is another term I hate? How about saying something like “The point is…” or how about just saying the point instead of pointing out what the point is? At the end of what day? Ugh. Hate it.
“To Be Honest With You”
This implies that every single time you speak to that person that you’re not being honest and that this time you are. Basically you are admitting to being a liar.
So you’re adding up all your crappy sentences and coming up with a new bottom line or way to paraphrase all that you just said? Thanks. How about just saying “In summary” or how about just not talking at all? If what you said makes sense then you won’t receive questions.
“The Bottom Line”
If you make a clear and concise point or argument there’s no need for a bottom line. Your point will have been made. No need to repeat it unless asked.
Oh my God. Shut up dude. I’ll circle back with you? How about “I’ll call you later” or “I’ll get back to you.” What is circling? Ah yes, you’re making your round of calls and I’m the last one on it. Nice!
So basically we’re admitting that something is going to be shitty and instead we use the words “managing expectations.” That’s so lovely isn’t it?
“Low Hanging Fruit”
Why not just say “crappy?” or even another cliche, “bottom of the barrel.” Easy pickens? “Low hanging fruit” just sounds retarded.
“Out of Pocket”
Jesus Christ how hard is it to say unavailable? What pocket is there? What little circle of space do you usually reside in that resembles a pocket? It’s that hard to say “you won’t be able to reach me?”
“Taking it to the Next Level”
So basically you’re not working hard enough. Awesome. Either that or there’s some level we don’t know about.
“On the Same Page”
Shut up man. Just say “I’m with ya.” “I agree.” Same page. Whatever.
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