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Jul 26 2011

Seven Horrible Things About Public Pools

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

Remember when you were a kid and you loved going to the local public pool?  I sure as hell do.  I would say until the age of 15 or so it was one of the most glorious experiences of the entire summer.   Everything from jumping in for the first time to diving off the diving board to eating the crappy snack bar food made for a great time.

But those same experiences and feelings as a kid would probably serve as big time negatives today.  In fact, there isn’t too much to enjoy about the public pool system anymore.

Here are some of the worst things about public pools….

Piss and Poop Potential

Remember when you’d be in patches of warm water as a kid and love it if the pool were too cold?  Um, not today.   Warm water usually means urine and that’s just flat out disgusting.   Also you couldn’t get me within 100 feet of a kiddie pool.  Forget that stuff.

When you Step on Food in the Snack Bar

I remember as a kid I used to step on French Fries that were all mushed up on the ground.   That stuff never used to phase me.  Now just eying a public pool snack bar gives me the willies.

The Wet Bathrooms

I know that all bathrooms at public pools are wet but isn’t it kind of gross?  I mean chances are you’re going in there bare feet and how often are you on a wet floor at a bathroom?  Sure we know it’s water but you know there’s piss mixed in.

The Wait on the Diving Board

Remember that awful chilly feeling you’d get waiting on line to use the diving board?  It’s way worse when you’re older.

If It’s Super Crowded

As a kid you love hanging out with friends and being in a crowded place.   As an adult it’s just another annoying obstacle you have to overcome.

The Noise

This falls in line with the whole crowded thing.   There is nothing, and I mean nothing worse than the sound of a bunch of kids screaming at the top of their lungs.

The Sheer Magnitude of Disgusting

When you’re a kid you don’t think of all the bacteria and filth that lie in a public pool.   Just thinking about it now makes me want to vomit.

Even More Uncoachable Stuff

2 responses so far

  • George B

    Wait…What about the unqualified lifeguards that are more interested in texting than saving some kids life.

  • Vernon Cooke

    Seven things I don’t like about public pools:
    1. Limited hours. Also usually close right after Labor Day even in warmer climates.
    2. Fussy and jerky pool rules. Some places even the men and boys have to wear bathing caps.
    3. Lifeguards very ______. ( don’t know what the right words are) They will whistle at you for the very smallest infraction if that is what you want to call it.
    4. Appropriate swimwear/proper bathing attire required.
    5. Knowledge of pool/beach etiquette very helpful or even necessary along with excellent social skills and abilities.
    6. Can’t enjoy the water in places with a lot of people around. Don’t feel free to do anything because of a strong spirit of conformity.
    7. Lot of people at the people depending on the pool that might be the type you don’t exactly feel comfortable with, i.e. older teenagers.



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