You know, I didn’t realize it until right now, but it’s alway been my goal to write a post where the headline is someone being attack by a swim noodle. As an event that happened to me routinely as a child, it’s nice to see it making national news for a change. That sounded a lot more twisted than I meant it to.

“Police in Florida said they arrested a man who allegedly dumped water from a swimming noodle onto a woman on the beach…”

What? That’s it? You can arrest someone for that?

“…and punched her in the face.”

Oh, well OK then. But it gets weirder.

“Naples police said the victim was at Lowdermilk Park beach with a friend Thursday and came across a rotting watermelon carved into the shape of the face, which she placed in the water, the Naples Daily News reported Monday. The man, identified as Karl Ludwig Eichner, 68, retrieved the watermelon and placed it back on the beach. The woman came across the water melon a second time and again placed it in the water, police said. Officers said Eichner used a swimming noodle filled with water to dump water on the woman and then punched her in the cheek.”

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Everyone knows that magical stuff happens at Disneyland, but this is one of my favorite videos from the park that doesn’t involve someone getting proposed to.

it’s a guy who decides to start a one man dance party, and actually gets a cute girl to join in with him at one point. That one point being 3:16, so if you want to skip there, feel free.

It can’t be that much of a self-esteem booster for a girl to have an ass that’s literally so fat, it has to be cut out of a seat by the jaws of life.

But it’s even funnier here, because she’s obviously pretty damn skinny, and just sat down in what appears to be a swing meant for two year olds. Really, she couldn’t wiggle out of that? Well congrats, you now have a famous internet ass because of it.

It’s been a long running stereotype that most women that come from Asian countries like China and Japan don’t really hold up in the bust department.  Well let me formally say that I resent that and I’m sure many of the women there do as well.

Because in the last decade or so I think they’ve tried very hard to remove that stereotype.  Tried that have, and succeed they will.   It would appear they’ve certainly convinced me.

Want proof?  Check out the pictures after the jump…..

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As my guys at Guyism best said it…..”Who doesn’t want fame and fortune? Even if you don’t want one, you definitely want the other. But once you get to that point and beyond, just how much is too much? At what point does the nonstop attention and ridiculous bank account cause you to start to lose your mind a bit?”

Well clearly it has caused plenty of people to be off center at one point in their lives.  In fact so much so that they got caught in the act.

Check out these seven notable celebrity meltdowns…..

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Click on the photo for more of the Denise Richards Workout

This isn’t even a video that Denise made.   Apparently she just invited some photographer to film her working out.  Call me crazy but that’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of.  She’s still hot though.

More things that are dumb and hot at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Wash

The anatomy outrage of the day – [The DW]

Cowboy monkey rodeo night is a great idea – [Unathletic]

Terrifying skeletons of adorable animals – [Cracked]

When you need celebrity cleavage – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

Yes, there is a Charlie Sheen sex doll – [OMG Blog]

The best stuff you’ll find all day – [CoreyandJay]

Check out the ball busting women of cinema – [Attuworld]

The worst locations for Jesus signs – [Izismile]

Club Cross Section might be one of my favorites – [InsideSTL]

Danica Thrall amazes me every single time – [Heyman Hustle]

Unintentionally funny goofy zombie movies – [Gunaxin]

Ten important rules for being human – [Nedhardy]

Jennifer Lawrence is as sexy as they come – [Guyism]

Kate Upton is doing what she does best – [Don Chavez]

Sixteen things you didn’t know about sleep – [Ego TV]

Cute babies dressed in food costumes – [Cityrag]

Cosplay is awesome when there’s hot chicks – [Funtasticus]

When a T-Rex terrorizes a school – [The Chive]

Click on the photo for more of Tamara Ecclestone

Here’s the lowdown:  Tamara Ecclestone is a Euro socialite.  She’s 26 years old.  Tamara is a former Formula One Sideline Reporter.  Currently she’s a model and it’s evidenced here by her holiday fun in Dubai.  Wow.

More wow girls at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

How often have you put your dollar bill into a machine only to find that it’s spit right back into your hands?  And in those moments do you ever see an error message from the machine?

Or how about when you’re trying to print something on that God awful printer in the office?  Does it ever dis you to no end because it’s an idiot and won’t print for you?

On occasions these machines get a little wonky and reveal some funny messages……

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There’s a very funny animated GIF that’s been going around for some time now.  It features an incredibly hot blond who walks by the camera.   Her breasts bounce in that crazy way and she give the camera this sexy smile that I think any man who has seen this thing goes incredibly wild.

For some time now I’ve been trying to find out who the woman in that GIF is.   Turns out it’s none other than Shendelle Schokman and she’s just as hot outside of that GIF than she is in it.

Check out her photos and the video after the jump…..

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