Obviously you know what theme we’re going for here today.   I’m not going to sugar coat it.  It’s a shame I had to wait until Cinco de Mayo to post Galilea Montijo because she kind of deserves a spot any day of the week.

The actress and show host should be on everyone’s radar.   She’s close to 40 years old which earns her cougar status and she’s just….hot.   I don’t know how else to put it.  I know where’d I’d put it.  Ba dum ching!

More of Galilea after the jump…..

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It’s always bad to get rear ended by anyone on the street, but if I walked outside and this was my car I’d say, “seriously, the thing with the goddamn CHAINSAW in front of it had to crash into me?”

I guess it could have been worse as the person could have been inside and been killed all Final Destination style. I’m waiting for a giant wrecking ball to come and cream the chainsaw tractor in a fit of cosmic justice.

I’ve seen a lot of videos that make me worried about the state of the North Korean people, but I think this one trumps all the others. This is legitimately terrifying footage of tiny children who have clearly been forced to learn how to to play the guitar since moments after they left the womb.

The purpose? To show that “great leader” is doing a good job running people’s lives, and that North Koreans are super talented at everything. Lock any child in a room with a guitar for five years and they could probably come out just as skilled, but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Many of you are aware that today is Cinco De Mayo, the 5th of May.  And while 99% of you reading this have no clue why it’s a day to celebrate you do know that it’s your duty to go out there and get wasted.

Congratulations for finding yet another day to waste by drinking!  Have a tequila on us.  And while you’re waiting for your drinks you can check out this fabulous collection of Mexican women we’ve compiled.

You can also check out a nice gallery by COED Magazine that they did in 2009 on the subject.

But for now, our stuff is after the jump…..

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There’s been plenty of funny NBA players throughout it’s history but I’m not that old a dude so I really can’t speak to the exploits of dudes in the 70s and whatever the hell Wilt Chamberlain used to do to prank people.

But in my era or few eras I suppose, there have been some real jokesters out there.   Some of the funniest guys are in the league today and others are pretty recent.

To simplify things I’ve taken funny dudes in the last 20 years…..

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Click on the photo for Playboy’s hottest college girl winner

Last fall, hundreds of sexy coeds from across the country answered Playboy’s call for their Hottest College Girl Contest.  They narrowed the list down to eight, and in wonderfully symmetrical fashion, a blonde and a brunette came out on top.

More blonds and brunettes at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Throwdown

6 fitness tips you’ve heard that don’t work at all – [Cracked]

Remember how hot old school Elisabeth Shue was? – [Unathletic]

Internet safety tips from 1998 – [Barstool Sports]

When you need celebrity cleavage – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

Is this trucking accident even possible? – [Izismile]

Check out the stupid pet trick of the day – [TheDW]

Doutzen Kroes is back in a bikini – [Attuworld]

Brooklyn Decker without makeup in a bikini is still great – [Moejackson]

Babies discussing the ways of the world – [Totally Crap]

Get down and dirty with Lindsay Marie – [Heyman Hustle]

An awesome”making of a chair” video – [Nedhardy]

You must admit that JWoww’s body is pretty wow – [Don Chavez]

Remember how hot Elle Macpherson was? – [Cityrag]

100 really hot suicide girl photos – [COED Magazine]

An amazing Dexter “Kill Room” prank gallery – [The Chive]

Attractive qualities you didn’t know you had – [Askmen]

That’s right, it’s THAT good – [Icanhasinternets]

The hottest British women on the planet – [Monkey Mag]

Click on the photo for more girls in sexy socks

There’s something extraordinary about the small patch of skin on the high thigh that exists when a sexy sock ends and the line of the skirt or underwear begins isn’t there?   That’s all I have to say about that.

More things to say at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

For all you doggy lovers out there I’m sure this little gallery is going to bring you some smiles.   Despite the fact that I think people take advantage of their animals by making them wear human clothing it’s still funny as hell when you’re dealing with cute puppies.

Which is why these pictures of pugs as thugs are awesome….

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It’s a brutal crime, but one that shows the ignorance of those who committed it. A guy was attacked in Oklahoma and forcibly tattooed. But the end result? Not quite what they wanted.

A mentally impaired Oklahoma City man was held down and shocked in the genitals with a stun gun April 17 while his attackers forcibly tattooed the word “RAPEST” on his forehead, police reported.

The attackers also forcibly tattooed “I like little boys” on the man’s chest, police reported.

“It hurt,” Stetson Johnson, 18, recalled Tuesday. “I was, like, ‘Why is this going on? … Why is this happening to me?’ They was, like, ‘Just shut up.’

The kid has already tattooed over his RAPEST tat with a bar code, presumably because he didn’t know you can actually get tattoos removed altogether. Really weird story all around.