I can’t seem to stop writing about dumb criminals, but there’s just too many that I can’t stop myself. This one has a delicious twist to it.

30 pounds of high-school-cafeteria frozen chicken nuggets, sans sauce, were among the items allegedly stacked up by Lawrence Dixon of Davie, and Carl Dudley Crabtree of Hollywood, ready to be hauled to their waiting car.

Inside, cops found money looted from vending machines, a computer, and some power equipment. The cops were there because a school employee said she saw the men poking around in her office.

They had apparently pried open the cafeteria freezer as well, finding the big bag of nuggets inside. Along with the chicken, cops found coins and, for some reason, a red and white graduation tassel.

What the hell? Is there crack in the chicken nuggets? Why the hell would you steal those? And a graduation tassle? Well, I guess it’s something that these guys clearly never owned for themselves.