. Uncoached - Lessons We Learned from Lindsay Lohan |

May 10 2011

5 Twisted Lessons Lindsay Lohan Has Tought our Youth

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial,Entertainment

It’s not really my style to do a post on a celebrity but in the case of Lindsay Lohan I think she’s pretty much earned it.   I’m not really sure she’s the reason that reality TV is the way it is today in terms of praising the destructive lives of celebrities but you can be damned sure she’s a big part of it.

And rather than us focus on how sick she is, Lohan is merely a target for us to make fun of and in fact, encourage.  Why she and Charlie Sheen aren’t a couple is a mystery to me.

Anyway, here are five twisted lessons Lohan has taught us all…..

If you Party Harder than anyone and have big breasts you can make it in life

This statement isn’t really a big surprise as it’s kind of a universal truth.  However, as shows like The Jersey Shore and other reality shows that enable partying and in fact praise it, it only helsp the cause of someone like Lohan.  Because in all honesty, her life would be miniscule, dull, and probably not worth following if she were “normal.”   The crappy thing is that it only encourages young people to pursue a life as messed up as possible in hopes that people will want to follow them.

If you’re a Celebrity,  no matter how many times you break the law, keep breaking it because you won’t get in trouble

Call me crazy here but shouldn’t Lohan be in jail for at least 20 years?  I mean she’s been caught God knows how many times and has escaped nearly unscathed.   Just think about how many times she did stuff she didn’t get caught for.  I’m sure Vegas has some giant file hidden under lock and key.

Sex with multiple partners doesn’t give you a slut label as long as you’re famous and everyone knows about it – oh and if you don’t have a sex tape

Of all the slutty celebs out there how Lohan doesn’t have a sex tape is beyond me.   And why isn’t she really considered a skank?  I mean everyone is saying she needs help and all that.   But can’t we just get to the real juice here?  She’s no different than the slut who gets banged in an abandoned warehouse by a fraternity.  She just happens to be famous so it’s fine?

Rehab is for pussies

I’m pretty sure Lohan should wear a T-Shirt with that very phrase.

Tipsy is the Equivalent to Only having one bottle of vodka

Lohan has newly defined the word “Tipsy.”  I have a feeling now that binge drinking will too get a new definition.   Tipsy to Lohan is pretty much black out drunk to you and me.


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