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Apr 20 2011

Five Hollywood Stories We Need to Give Up On

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

I have a wife and said wife is extremely into anything Hollywood.  She gets gitty every single time her US Weekly arrives and it makes me want to vomit.  So while I may hate this world I’m still a part of it and know what’s going on.

At this point, I don’t mind some of the “news” that comes with each issue.  But there are definitely some themes that are getting a bit boring.  Personally if we removed them I think the world would be a better place.

Here are five Hollywood stories we need to give up on….

Jennifer Aniston’s Love Life

You know what the cold, hard truth is ladies?  Here it is.  As much as you love Jennifer Aniston and want to be her, there’s something you all have to realize.  The woman cannot keep a man.   It’s always the dude’s fault right?  Wrong.  When you’ve gone through this many guys it either means you’re kind of slutty or you eventually piss all of them off.   Aniston will NEVER be married, ever.   And who the hell cares?  Can we stop please?  Thanks.

Lindsay Lohan’s Criminal Life

Seriously, it’s at the point where I think Lohan should just murder someone and call it a day.   At least then she’ll be in jail for the rest of her life and we won’t have to talk about her anymore.    She has problems.  We get it.  I’d also still do her.   The girl manages to be hot all the time even when she’s gross.

Justin Bieber Mania

Good Lord can we give it a rest with this guy?  I’m actually a Bieber supporter.  I don’t like the guy per say but I do respect him.  He’s a talented kid but do we always have to hear about what girl he’s with, or whether or not he’s gay?  And now we have to be on the lookout for his voice changing?  Can we just go Bieberless for like 15 minutes?  I think the world would be a better place.

Charlie Sheen Anything

I mean don’t realize that anything Charlie Sheen does isn’t new?  The guy has been pulling this shit since the early 80s.  He hasn’t changed.  Wont change.  And I don’t think he has any intention of changing either.  He’s gonna bang chicks, do drugs, and that’s that.

American Idol

“You’re going to Hollywood!”  Eh, I really don’t care.

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