Feb 24 2011
Imagine a world where you can fart and not have to worry about it. Imagine a place where doing things like adjusting yourself in the crotch area wasn’t only acceptable but it was praised.
Personally that’s the kind of world I want to live in. We really need to loosen it up in society and I’d like to talk about five things we need to be socially acceptable the world…..
Picking Your Nose
At some point in the history of the world someone decided that it was wrong to pick your nose in front of other people. Who this person is I don’t know but it’s really not cool that this act isn’t acceptable. After all when you really think about it, picking your nose is one of the most gratifying feelings when you can really dig in there and get out that ghastly booger that’s been bothering you all day. We should lighten up on the criticism.
Adjusting Your Groin
Is that so bad? Little kids do it all the time and we think it’s cute. If a man so much as touches his groin the public is probably thinking sexual harassment. Let’s give it a rest. If the ball itch you should be allowed to scratch them. Same goes for you females. If it’s bothering you down there then just go for it.
The Five Second Rule
It’s kind of an unspoken rule that when a piece of food hits the floor you have five seconds to pick it up and eat it and in theory it’s still clean. While this is completely wrong in every aspect is it so bad to eat up that food that you were so very much enjoying? I really don’t think it’s that bad at all. Just depends on the floor it drops on.
What if you have a really bad cold and cough up phlegm and don’t have any place to put it? Are you supposed to swallow it back down? That to me is more gross than spitting it out? What if you need to vomit? Spitting really isn’t all that bad and I think we should be able to do it anywhere as long as it’s outdoors.
I say this term loosely but basically we’re talking about burping and farting. How much better a world would it be if you could burp and fart without any type of social consequences. Talk about a man’s Utopia.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff