You know, I get that it could be kind of cool to rig up sparks to shoot out the back of your motorcycle, but when your morbidly obese girlfriend is riding with you, it kind of looks like she’s farting them out, causing your bike to accelerate to superhuman speeds. But hey, if that’s the look you’re going for, more power to you.

I’m actually surprised this bike isn’t in a permanent state of wheelie with that load on it.

Wow, my mouth is agape with what I just watched. So much whiteness, I’m blind. I can’t see…

This is a recruitment video made by Kappa Kappa Gamma sisters at Baylor which I’m guessing is supposed to make girls want to join them, but I’m not sure how that’s supposed to work as this makes me want to burn the place down with fire so it doesn’t produce any more videos like this.

Kappas are notoriously well-off, which is why this video has several thousand dollars worth of production values and auto-tuning that have gone into it, and man, I’m going to die if this is stuck in my head the rest of the day.

But hey, they are cute!

Back in October of last year, 18 potential spokesmodels competed in the 12th Floor Lounge at Fantasy Springs Resort Casino.  During this time, a select panel of judges from local media outlets along with city officials and elite players judged the contestants on personality, poise, and appearances.

What bothers me is that I’m not sure anything was chosen based off of a bikini competition.  Oh well.  Ah yes, by the way six winners were chosen after a round of questioning.  The winners will now represent Fantasy Springs at community and resort events throughout the remainder of 2011. The winners also receive a spot as a Girl of Playboy Golf in the upcoming 4th annual Palm Springs Playboy Golf Scramble happening at Eagle Falls Golf Course November 12th and 13th.

Well how about that?  Pics after the jump….

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As a child you’re taught many of the right things in sports.  What I mean is you learn the values of fair play, sportsmanship, hard work, comradery, and all the other “good stuff” about sports.    As a child you learn to appreciate how amazing professional athletes are.  You idolize them.  And the reason you do is because you know nothing about them except for their performance on the field.

And that’s exactly how it should be.  But unfortunately we don’t live in that world.  As we get older we see the truer and more business side of sports.  Frankly, the kind of stuff we should be ignoring.   It’s just too bad that’s really hard to do as it’s in our face 24/7.

There are five things in particular that I think we make way too big a deal of in sports…..

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Click on the photo for the 10 hottest Amber Heard photos

Tonight, while you were slamming Busch camo cans and asking your latest friend with benefits to sit on your lap, Amber Heard was coming out of the closet as a lesbian with her partner Tasya van Ree.  Isn’t that lovely?

More lovely stuff at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Funbag

Six shocking ways TV rewires your brain – [Cracked]

Check out the Megan Fox photoshop action – [Izismile]

The best basketball trickshots ever – [EgoTV]

When it’s time for celebrity cleavage – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

Check out the prank of the day – [The DW]

This girl actually ate a dead pigeon – [Totally Crap]

Would you eat Kentucky fried Panda? – [Attuworld]

Who is the chick in this video? – [OMG Blog]

Arianny Celeste busts out at Playboy party – [Heyman Hustle]

Denise Richards is shopping for clothes – [FHM]

I do like this Girl Next Door contest – [Inside STL]

The 2011 Girls of Philly Calendar – [Gunaxin]

The 20 worst Christmas cards of all time – [Manofest]

I can’t believe this video is real – [Nedhardy]

Check out the latest goings on in Hollywood – [Bullz-Eye]

You haven’t seen Amber Heard like this – [Cityrag]

The ballad of Shotgun Jones – [Sublime Blog]

Adriana Lima promotes a fantasy bra – [Don Chavez]

Click on the photo for more of Jessica Burciaga

Ah the memories.  I remember discovering Jessica back in 2007.  She was one of the fist girls I ever posted on a website.  That was back when she hadn’t done Playboy yet.  There’s a part of me that still wishes she didn’t.  Then again, a big part of me happy that she did.

More happiness at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

There are some things in life that you simply don’t think about.  One of those things is a scenario where a woman holds in on top of her head in a bodyslam position.  Forgive me but it’s just not normal.

Granted  I think of women physically controlling me all the time, just not in this fashion, you know?  But if you’re into this sort of thing then I’m sure you’ll enjoy this gallery of strong women who like to bodyslam….

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17 year-old Bradley McCombs was tragically killed in a car crash last week, and as a big gamer, his parents thought it appropriate to put his Game Boy and a few games in the casket with him. You’ll never believe what happens next.

His open-casket funeral was a few days later. 37-year-old Jody Lynn Bennett was there, and noticed an original Game Boy, three games, and a clip-on light to be buried with the victim. During the funeral, Bennett walked up and grabbed all of the vintage gaming memoribilia and then walked out of the funeral home. Bennett was at the funeral because he went to school with McCombs’s father.

McCombs’s uncle witnessed the unusual activity and confronted Bennett as he left. Bennett returned the Game Boy but the uncle didn’t realize he had more pilfered goods still in his possession. By the time the family noticed the missing games and light, it was too late. They called the police.

“I can confidently say this is the first time in my 22 years that I’ve had anybody go into the funeral home while the family was there and take something right under their noses and try to get away with it,” said Sergeant Michael Schmidt in an Associated Press report.

My vote is jail. Forever. Think that’s too harsh? It’s more punishing what type of person they are, rather than the actual crime. And clearly this is a person with such low morals and poor decision making processes, they shouldn’t be walking around on the street.

I wish I could say that Michelle Keegan actually works for me but I think you guys know the way I meant it.   Dammit why can’t Michelle Keegan actually come work for me?  Is that such a tall task?  I have money.  I could pay her.  She could like, you know, entertain me and stuff as a fun distraction from work.

I guess her pictures will have to be enough of a distraction for now.  Oh well.

More of Michelle after the jump….

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