Uhhh where was I when this was happening? Apparently there’s a real life superhero fighting crime around Seattle. You may laugh at “Phoenix Jones” but I don’t think you’d want to mess with him.

The guy’s got a baton taser, a bullet proof vest and stab plates, and is better equipped for battle than you’re average mugger. Allegedly he’s stopped a number of crimes in progress so far, though he better watch before he gets in over his head and has to kill a crime boss using a jetpack with gatling guns on it. Kick-Ass anyone?