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Dec 27 2010

The 30,000 Calorie Christmas Feast No One Should Ever Eat

Published by at 1:00 pm under Oddly Enough

I’m pretty sure people like this should be in jail for the crime of gluttony. What, it’s a deadly sin, it can’t be crime? How many wrath and lust-induced crimes do we lock people up for? If you don’t agree with me, read on.

A New Jersey woman who hopes to become the fattest woman in the world got 30,000 calories closer to her 1,000lb goal with a festive feast that could have fed dozens of revellers.

46-stone Donna Simpson, sitting in a reinforced metal chair, chowed down on the world’s biggest Christmas dinner as she ate for two straight hours on Saturday.

The single mother-of-two tucked into two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.

After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a ‘salad’ made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.

Her GOAL is to get to 1,000 pounds. I guess God will smite her with clogged arteries or something in a few years, but good lord, this is criminal with the amount of people who were starving around the world Christmas Day. But hey, she got her picture in the paper!

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