Oh good lord. This Jersey Shore madness has got to end. I’m one step away from calling the President to have him nuke the whole state.

I HOPE this is at LEAST part of a “Situation” Halloween costume, rather than a shirt that you’re actually supposed to wear places. I guess it’s for those who work out like crazy, but are too lazy to life their shirt to show people their abs.

If I ever see anyone wearing this, I will be physically compelled to immediately punch them in the face, and I think the law allows it in instances of douchery as egregious as this.

So a while back I showed you a picture that I simply described as “Japan.” I thought it summed up the countries WTF-ness well, and I wondered where it was from.

Well you guys told me it was from a movie called “Funky Forrest” and so I decided to do some research, and I have found a video of the crazy scene in question, which is actually even more f-ed up than the still image, which I didn’t think was possible. Check out the clip above.

I’ve talked about it before but it’s worth mentioning that in today’s day and age there seem to be an infinite amount of fetishes.  I mean you can find a group of people that find just about anything sexual.   The spectrum is so wide you’re talking about people who dig long nails on one side to people who like pissing on the other.

And as many as we can explore it’s a sub sector of one fetish that I’d like to focus on: knee socks.  Knee high socks kick ass on the right chick but let’s take it a step further.  Let’s check out some knee highs on one of my favorite types of lady, the cheerleader.

Enjoy the gallery….

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When you are older there are some major “firsts” that you never forget.   The biggest ones that come to mind are the first time you get married (haha), the first time you become a parent, the first time you become a grandparent, the first time you own a home, etc etc.  These are common and most certainly unforgettable things.

But when you reflect back on your younger days it’s not all that easy to remember things that happened for the first time in your life.   However, there are certainly a few.

In fact, here are five things I’ll never forget happening for the first time while I was in high school…..

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Click on the photo for the most insane sex lives of animals

Yes us humans know how to get down from time to time.  But have you even seen the crap that animals are capable of?  If you did it might surprise you.  Not only that, give you some phenomenal ideas.

More great ideas at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Throwdown

Want to see Kim Kardashian as a kid? -  [Celebbuzz]

The nine types of high friends – [EgoTV]

By far the best police video of the day – [The DW]

Celebrity upskirts do happen often – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

Another fine edition of hotties in the wild – [Doubleviking]

Are you getting any unwanted erections? – [Attuworld]

The search for the most beautiful Latina – [Bullz-Eye]

DUI suspect pees on tree and owns cop – [Regretfulmorning]

Check out the sexy girls of college football – [Oncampusdrama]

This is way more awesome than it sounds – [Nedhardy]

You don’t want to have Chili in Finland – [Cityrag]

There’s nothing wrong with racist jokes – [Topcultured]

They see me rollin’ and they hatin’ – [Icanhasinternets]

The 50 worst nut shots in sports history – [Bleacherreport]

Check out the ever so sexy Frankie Ryder – [Mademan]

A very spooky abandoned restaurant – [Izismile]

J Lo is sporting some cottage cheese legs – [Don Chavez]

Nothing better than a hot chick and her gun – [Theospark]

Click on the photo for 100 random sexy pictures

There’s nothing to explain here.  Everything is right in the world when you’ve got chicks you’ve never heard of making seductive poses for you.  I dig it.  You dig it.  We all love it.   Game over.

More facts of life at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

Like Bill Maher I’m not the biggest fan of religion.  I’m not saying I hate religious people.  And I’m not saying there isn’t a higher power out there.  But I am saying that “releasing” yourself to the mercy of a religion and following its practices with no if’s, and’s, or but’s is a very limited way of thinking.

I guess it makes things “simpler” but at the same time it sure as hell causes some major heartache.  Whatever though.  To each their own and I don’t really want to harp on religion too much here.   Speaking of religion.

How about Christianity?  I mean are you really serious about religion putting up these signs on Sundays?

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With this picture, somehow I just picture him saying “You got it, dude!”

A four year old boy has been banned from Kindergarten because he grew his hair long. Stupid enough as is, but wait until you hear the reason WHY he was growing his hair so long.

Renee Szablewski is a good, churchgoing Catholic. She wants her 4-year-old son, Jack, to grow up to be one, too.

That’s why Szablewski was so upset last month with St. Dominic, a parochial school in Brick, N.J. The principal at the school barred Jack from his pre-kindergarten class because his hair was too long.

“That’s Christian? That’s Catholic?” Szablewski fumed during a telephone interview with TODAYshow.com Monday.

Jack’s early lesson in how tough life can be actually began when at the tender age of 16 months, his grandfather died of lung cancer. Renee Szablewski decided to honor her father by letting her son’s hair grow out so that he could donate his locks to be used in wigs for children who lose their own hair to cancer radiation treatment.

Yup, he was planning on donating his long hair to make wigs for sick kids, the school new this and they banned him anyways. Didn’t Samson grow long hair in the Bible and was made powerless when it was cut? Why Catholics always gotta be making stuff up?

Amanda Jane Herrmann is an American model and actress, better known by her stage name, AJ Alexander. She was the Playmate of the Month for the May 2008 issue of Playboy magazine.  Well, I’m sold.  And just in case that doesn’t sell it enough here’s some more for ya.

She is of German, English, and Native American descent.  That means she’s into kinky sex stuff, could do a kick ass accent for you, and probably could skin a buffalo.  I mean what more do you need in a woman?  A nice rack and beautiful face helps.  Luckily AJ possesses these things too.

Pics after the jump….

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