All I want to add is that I really hope he finds other ways to connect with his wife, emotionally and intellectually, since he so openly disapproves of the most common ways women try to include their partners in their life. I have been in a happy, monogamous marriage for 9 years. We don’t like shopping together, and there are definitely some other things we do alone because the other one does not like it. But then we find things we both like, and we compromise on our own egocentric schedules to make time for the other one.

Relationships aren’t about the stuff we do per se, it’s about connection and trust, and the slow building/eroding of that over the years – and that is where “stuff” suddenly become important. For me as a woman, it’s not about the shopping, or a man “looking at things”, it’s about feeling loved and secure as HIS woman. If you don’t like to walk, take a drive instead and make an outing of it. If you refuse to shop with her, do something else together like taking her out to dinner. If you don’t want to look at drape patterns, at least choose to be tactful instead of hostile and boorish. When a man continually refuses to be his partner’s PARTNER, she might just end up where @Annoyed said she might, with one of his “more considerate guy friends”.

Sure is sexism in here.

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for nearly 3 years. We try (to the best of both of our abilities, because no one is perfect) to work as a team on issues. You know, sometimes we forget a couple of things and we have to stop at a couple of stores – it happens. Sometimes we sit down and decide where a new piece of furniture will go, or go on walks with our dog together.

I understand I may actually be an exception – I’m one of those rare chicks that hates shopping and decorating. But I know I have a lot of personal hobbies and interests that my boyfriend doesn’t like, and it works both ways.

The author makes it sound like all women are trying to change men (and yet I’ve met many men that have tried to change me!), but I think relationships are about accepting certain parts of each other that we may not necessarily like, compromising on issues, discovering new common interests together, learning to work as a team (i.e., not be selfish!) and above all, allowing the other person to still have some sort of identity. I go to art films with my sister; he has the guys over for the Super Bowl. And yet we still always meet back up to go see action flicks and eat pizza.

And dude, if you’re not doing that, well, I just feel sorry for you.

And especially for your wife…She’s probably banging one of your more considerate guy friends right now.

Women: Can you seriously tell me that you are with a guy that wants to do everything that you want to do without nagging and begging? I bet your boyfriend/fiance/husband has a list of things he hates doing and will always hate doing, and does them just to appease you. I bet you also have a list of things that you hate and will always hate as well. Drinking beer, watching sports, and many other things.

Lastly Linda: This “we” that women “adapt” to is often a selfish idea-centric view on what a relationship should be, without considering the two people involved. In truth, the women who do it are already relationship-biased and trying to fit their partner into it is just pure selfishness. I do believe that people in a relationship need to work out TOGETHER what’s best for both parties in the long run, but women “adapting” to a relationship is just them trying to change their boyfriend into what they want and then disguising it behind “but it’s for ‘us’.”