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Sep 01 2010

Five Victories a Post College Male Can Have That Are Kind of Pathetic

Published by at 7:21 am under Editorial

If you’re over the age of 25, a male, have a job, and are somewhat “normal” by human standards then you’re probably someone who finds ways to compete even though you’re just not like you used to be.  The glory days of high school and college are over and you try to find ways to be “better” than your buddies.

But the sad thing is, aside from your job, place in life, etc etc, there aren’t too many competitions that matter anymore.  Yet we still find crap to fight about and we still, in our own pathetic ways rub it in when we’re the victor.

Here are 5 victories a post college male can have that are kind of pathetic in the grand scheme of things….

Winning His Fantasy League


Since most of us are out of shape and stale these days yet we still have that competitiveness in our hearts we turn to other outlets to compete with our friends.  One of the biggest is clearly fantasy sports.  But if winning a fantasy sports title is one of the biggest things you got going on then man you are a chump.  Too bad it is for most guys.  Oh well.

Winning a Beer Pong Tournament


I mean sure if you win in your fraternity and your know as one of the best Beirut players then sure, it’s a great honor.  But if you’re like 28 and you roll up in some bar and still take this shit seriously?  It’s a problem.  It’s still fun as hell but don’t hinge your future on being able to sink that last cup.

Summer League Sports Title


A lot of us dudes played high school sports and most of us didn’t make it at the collegiate level.  I think it’s great to continue playing sports and I think competition is healthy for the soul.  But let’s just say I’m not hanging up any Fire Island Tournament plaques any time soon.  It’s nice to win but it’s nothing to brag about.

Poker Night Champ


I can’t even begin to say how thrilling it is to be the big winner on Poker night.   Granted it’s just awesome to win money but there’s also this feeling of superiority that really shouldn’t be there.  You’re not the man because you won at Poker.  Not even remotely.

Hooking up with a Hot Chick from High School


Sure it’s kind of cool and all but 99% of the time these chicks aren’t nearly as hot now and it’s not nearly as great a feat to pull it off now as when you were in high school.  Still though, it’s kind of neat.





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