It’s no surprise that bikes get stolen every day in Brooklyn, and hipsters are forced to walk to coffee shops instead. Well one woman wasn’t going to take her theft lying down, and she had an opportunity for revenge when her bike popped up on Craigslist the following day.

This morning I woke up around 9 AM and checked Craigslist to see if there were any reasonably priced bikes on there and lo and behold, there was a picture of my bike for sale for $75. They even had a picture of the scratches. I called the number and spoke with someone who said he lived on South 8th Street, near Peter Luger’s, which is two blocks from where the bike was stolen. I said, “I’m in the neighborhood, I could come by, I’m just a few blocks away.” And this freaked him out a little bit, so he got off the phone with me almost immediately, saying he had just woken up, and he would call me back. He never did.

She then went to the police, and started plotting a sting operation. Because NYPD clearly has nothing better to do all day.

So they drove me a few blocks away from the restaurant, and as I walked up there, I texted Maura, and she called the dude. And then a few minutes later he he rode up on a yellow bike, this big, tattoo-covered, dreadlocked dude who I so would not have wanted to face alone. I looked at the bike, and he had attempted to fix one of the things that was broken, but the other part, which I had carefully described to the police officers, was still unfixed, which was the first thing he pointed out to me, as if he were being an honest salesman. I almost started laughing. It was definitely my bike!

And then the cops all converged on the guy, and they said, “Can we talk to you over here?” to him which sounds very nice but I assure you was not really said as a question. And then he was over against the Peter Luger’s wall with all the cops and I was alone with my bike. And then they were asking him all these questions, and he was like, “I do not steal bikes, I buy them from this guy,” and then within a minute they had extracted that he was a junkie, that he bought these bikes from another junkie, and even how much junk he consumed a day. Detective work in action! They cuffed him and put him in the squad car.

Thanks Craigslist! You may be a portal for prostitution and fencing, but at least you helped put one criminal behind bars!

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OK, we can spend a lot of time laughing at the giant fat guy grilling on the giant grill piece of giant meat to fit in his giant stomach, but the more press question is, what ARE those things?

I’m have a hard time deciding between whole piglets and human fetuses. They might also be human hearts of alien embryos. I really can’t be sure. In any case, they do look rather delicious. I hope they have corn on the cob too.

Usually on this site, we’re like WTF Japan or WTF Russia or WTF New Jersey. Today though, we’re going with WTF Czechoslovakia? This is a music video called Jozin z Bazin polksie napisy, and I can’t figure out why the hell it exists.

Words are failing me when trying to describe this video, and you really just have to watch it yourself. Highlights include the bearded man dancing like he’s trying to shake off fire ants crawling off his back, and the guy who shows up at the end with the piece of glass. You’ll see.

The song is actually kind of catchy. Damn, this is going to be stuck in my head now.

I’m not 100% sure why I used the word “blatant” but it just felt right.  By the way, just a little hint to Nathan’s hot dogs.  Instead of featuring Joey Chestnut all over the place as your poster boy, don’t you think you’d draw more people to your stores using pictures and women like this?

Just food for though.  I for one would love to watch a hot chick hot dog eating contest on my day off.    Nothing’s more satisfying than watching females look as if they’re pulling John Bobbit’s left and right.  Yummy!

Here are some good looking girls eating hot dogs…..

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I’m not sure if this happens when you’re older and have had enough sex to get picky or what.  However, there are some sexual situations that look great in the movies that in reality just don’t cut it.  Don’t get me wrong.  I suppose it’s a treat to have sex in whatever situation you can pull it off in.

However, when you’re married and you want to “spice it up” perhaps movies aren’t the greatest reference.  And possibly those props and spaces to use might not be the best idea.

Here are four highly overrated sexual situations….

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Click on the photo for the hottest fan bases of the Pac 10

As the Pac-10 Conference transitions to the Pac-12 over the next 12-24 months,  they will be performing a reconstruction commonly known as a “facelift.”  And during this new era, crops of new hot chicks will be added accordingly.

More things added every day at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Madness

A survival guide to extremely improbable situations – [Cracked]

Trust me, you’ll want to know who Sophie Horn is – [Extramustard]

The Top ten signs she’s faking it – [Askmen]

The perils of lending your car to a prostitute – [Pedal to the Metal]

Time for a little celebrity skin action – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

One of the weirdest interpretations of Mario ever – [The DW]

20 sexy bartenders I would love to have serve me – [Heavy]

A gallery of candid Jessica Biel photos – [EgoTV]

The best jet skiing picture you’ll see all week – [Attuworld]

Now this is how I like girls to be in a line up – [Ehowa]

Guy jumps face first into a fence – [Totally Crap]

The most effeminate photos of the cast of The Expendables – [Manofest]

A nice lovely gallery of hot Asian girls – [Cavemancircus]

It’s the revenge of the gangbang zombies! – [Sublime Blog]

Can you learn to close the deal every time? – [Askmen]

The funniest news screenshots of all time – [Nedhardy]

Nipple slips and even more nipple slips – [Cityrag] (semi NSFW)

Hidden messages in Facebook Updates – [Regretfulmorning]

When celebrities get hit in the face – [Guyism]

Man I wish I had it like that growing up.  Way to go kid.

I can’t imagine a more accurate assessment of being 40 than this.  I happen to be 31 but good Lord this seems correct.

There’s absolutely nothing not to love about Anissa Holmes.  She’s Canadian which is awesome because I think if you’re anyone not from U.S. at this point you’re in pretty good shape.   According to Model Mayhem she’s 117 years old which makes her the hottest person over 100.

She’s posted topless before.  Check.  She’s got a D measurement.  She’s tall, voluptuous, and is making me insane.

Just look at her pictures dammit…..

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