Jul 05 2010
I used to be in sales for around six years before I took this gig.Â I was a headhunter working in the finance arena.Â And if there’s one thing you deal with when talking to investment bankers, salesman, and traders it’s a whole hell of a lot of bullshit.Â The egos on some of these guys is for lack of a better word…”uncoached.”
It’s just amazing to me that some people actually talk this way and believe in some of their own lingo.Â Don’t get me wrong there are some really nice and smart people in the business world but unfortunately there are way more dicks than cool people.
One thing I always hated, and still do about the corporate world is the catch phrases people used.Â Phrases that really just veered away from any semblance of an actual point. Â Phrases I consider to be just fluff.
Here are the five I hated most….
“At the End of the Day”
Yeah I get what it means.Â This is a phrase commonly substituted for “the bottom line.”Â It’s essentially saying “the main point is.”Â Well if you’re gonna friggin’ say what the main point is then just say it.Â Stop using all this fluff to get there.Â And don’t give me that end of day crap.Â This terms is used so much in finance that it makes me want to puke.
Really? Â Net Net?Â Are you some kind of a financial wizard?Â You’re equating real life business propositions to financial and mathematical equations?Â Another way of saying “bottom line?”Â Good God man, get to the point asshole.
“Thinking Outside the Box”
What box?Â What is the normal box of thinking that people are referring to?Â Why not just say “this guy is creative.”Â How about saying “he/she has some great ideas?”Â This imaginary box pisses me off and quite frankly makes me think of vagina.Â And I really don’t want to do that in a sales meeting.
Seriously guys.Â Synergy?Â Just say “work together” or “collaborate” please.Â Stop trying to sound cool and futuristic.Â Like you’re putting this whole string of things “together” to form this synergistic element. Â Give me a break.
“To Be Honest” or “To Be Frank”
Whenever someone says that all I think is “well, they haven’t been honest once up until this point and now they’re being truthful?”Â Shouldn’t we assume most things people say are coming from a truthful vantage point?Â I guess not.
“The Bottom Line” – I got your bottom line right here bud.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff