httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_TV4qJiOlg&feature=related

Japan never ceases to amaze me, which is why I really shouldn’t be surprised with how ridiculous their commercial is to join the Navy. It’s a bunch of happy dancing “Seaman” who are proud to serve their country by bust moves on the decks of aircraft carriers. We’ve come a long way from kamikaze bombings huh? What? I’m just saying…

The commercial is also juxtaposed next the US’s badass Navy recruitment commercial, where a SEAL team singlehandedly wins World War III. Then the two are combined to make Japan’s dancing seem even more ludicrous.

There are times when I’m really glad I’m not a female.  Just the other day I saw my mother putting on makeup and she had like this entire kit in her purse.  All I was thinking was “God I would hate to have to carry all that crap around all day.”  Then I told my mom, “man it must suck to be a woman sometimes.”

She actually agreed.  Speaking of sucking to be a woman,  how about all that crap they try to squeeze into?  Dresses and gowns and what not?  And whoever invented the corset clearly wanted to torture females.

A corset is a garment worn to mold and shape the torso into a desired shape for aesthetic or medical purposes (either for the duration of wearing it, or with a more lasting effect).

Mold and shape huh?  More like contort one’s body in an uncomfortable position for an extended period of time.  Then again, they look pretty damned hot on the right people……

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Would it be safe to say I’m a little late to the BP party?  Eh, I guess my response to that would be “who cares?”  I’m not gonna sit here and try to be all funny or opinionated on the BP situation.  I feel badly for all the families that are being affected.  I sincerely hope that the situation gets resolved sooner rather than later.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some funny ass parodies out there.  And without humor in this world where the hell are we?  I’ll tell you where we are damnet.  In a really shitty place.

So here is a collection of funny BP ads…

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Click on the photo for more of Alessandra Ambrosio

This is one of those days where I’m kind of in a purgatory of thought.  I just don’t have all that much to say.  And when I get in these moods it’s best to just post a sure winner hottie.  And I would think that Alessandra qualifies.

More qualified female talent at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Tips

Six reasons for Matthew McConaughey to go away – [Cracked]

Do think 33K is a good price to pay for a good night’s sleep? – [Ego TV]

Ten of the world’s most bizarre cults – [Elistmania]

Sexy Carl’s Jr. girl rides a mechanical bull – [Theospark]

When you need a celebrity skin fix go here – [Taxidrivemovie] (NSFW Ads)

The sexiest video of the day (and more!) – [Sexy and Funny]

Pretty amazing street art time lapse video – [The DW]

Funny porn parody on The Breakfast Club - [Attuworld]

Man escapes a very horrid and unlikely truck crash – [Totally Crap]

Chuck Liddell looking pretty awful after last fight – [Heymanhustle]

Scrappers is about hauling garbage and not fighting – [Atom]

Who does the best Super Mario Brothers theme song? – [Brobible]

A stunning visual guide to the World Cup teams – [Icanhasinternets]

The number one sport for getting your hand bitten off – [Linkiest]

Ashley Estrada is one of the hottest models out there – [COED Magazine]

Ozzy Osbourne never wants to stop – [Heavy]

What it’s like to own an Apple product – [Nedhardy]

Gemma Atkinson looking quite tasty in FHM – [Don Chavez]

Click on the photo for more of Marisa Miller

If you have to ask, something is horribly wrong, so I’m not going to explain who Marisa Miller is.  But what you may not know is that she just starred in a banned Guitar Hero commercial that happens to be fantastic.

More fantastic women at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

We’ve got crazy fans here in the U.S.  I’ll admit to that.  But I’ll also say I haven’t seen a fan more insane than a soccer fan.  For a sport that I think is extremely boring to watch the soccer fan is a different breed.

Some soccer fans would literally KILL opposing fans.  Some soccer fans light fireworks, shoot guns, riot, you name it.  It’s absolutely insane to me but it happens all the time over there in Europe and Latin America.

Check out these 10 wacky soccer celebration photos

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Good lord California, is this seriously the kinds of ideas you’ve come to now? Selling advertising real estate on license plates as a way to raise cash?

Yes, it seems so. There is new type of technology that is essentially a fully electronic license plate. California wants to use this tech for their own purposes, purposes that are incredibly stupid if you ask me.

The device would mimic a standard license plate when the vehicle is in motion but would switch to digital ads or other messages when it is stopped for more than four seconds, whether in traffic or at a red light. The license plate number would remain visible at all times in some section of the screen.

And this is going to close a $19B deficit how?

Look, I’m not sure how much money you can haul in from stupid license plate commercials, that are too small to even be seen most of the time, but I have to say, wouldn’t the costs of electronic license plates be SIGNIFICANTLY higher than the standard metal ones that prisoners bang out currently? So either the state would have to pay extra, or it would be passed on to consumers, for the “privilege” of having their cars be walking advertisements. Idiotic.

California, two words to close that budget gap: LEGALIZE IT.

Now it’s very hard to debate that a Kobe Kaige isn’t 100% attractive but I’ve heard some stuff on how her face is a little masculine.  I mean I can see that but there’s just too much going on for this gal to not be a fan.  I happen to be a tremendous fan.  Not to mention I’ve actually talked to Kobe before.

First of all she’s an Australian based international glamor model.  So that means she’s awesome already.  Second,  she has been featured in dozens of international magazines, including Playboy (Russia), FHM (Australia, Czech, Romania), Platinum Girls x2, Stroke x3, Men’s Health, Maxim, Zoo Weekly, People and many more.

Finally, she is also a two time Penthouse Pet covergirl and then went onto be crowned ‘PENTHOUSE PET OF THE YEAR in 2007.  She’s hot, and you have no choice but to agree.

More of Kobe after the jump

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What exactly is going on here? I’m not sure, but I do know that I fully approve of it. I’m not sure how this dude isn’t imploding this snail’s shell in on itself, but I definitely sure he doesn’t appreciate being grabbed by the eye. Those are where they’re eyes are right?

I can’t tell if this is CGI or an actual statue of a snail. Or I suppose it could be an actual snail, but then we should probably call some scientists or something.