Back when I was in college, we had something in our campus paper called “crime notes” which were little criminal blurbs that were just a few sentences, but always pretty hilarious. After I graduated, I didn’t realize they existed on a national scale, but here we are. From the New York Times:

Police in Iowa City said a man who called them to report that he’d been punched while on the Iowa City pedestrian mall, was punched again by a second person while he was on the phone with his 911 call.

Police said the man, whose name was not released, told 911 dispatchers early Tuesday morning that he had just been assaulted in the 100 block of East College St. and was following the person who did it. Police said that while he was speaking with officers, a friend of the original assailant punched the man and knocked him to the ground.

I would have loved if the police showed up an mistook him for the aggressor and punched him once again. But I suppose two will have to be enough.