Jun 02 2010
Let me tell you what sucks about a first date. Neither party is ever really fully themselves. On a first date you have to be on your best behavior. You can’t really relax. You can’t really be….YOU. And that just sucks. I want to live in a world where we could truly say what we feel and act how we act despite meeting someone out for the first time.
But, unfortunately that’s not how society works. And when you go out on that first date you better watch yourself because if you slip up it might cost you date number two and ultimately the chance to get laid. Now that would truly be the crime.
Here are five things that oddly enough you can easily pull off in a relationship but will screw you over on a first date
Let’s face it. You ever fart in front of a girl on a first date and you can consider yourself out of there by the check. Don’t even think about it fellas. Now? Now that I’m married I pretty much save my farts for when my wife is in the room. And if I can fart on her face? Even better.
This one’s a little less extreme than the farting but it still has the same effect. A little cute burp with your hand covering your mouth is something you might be able to slip by as long as you say “excuse me” but I’m pretty sure if you’re firing them out there this chick will run for the hills.
“I’m gonna put it in your butt” doesn’t exactly go over well on a first date. Eh, it doesn’t even go over too well in a marriage but you know what I mean. You can say some pretty far out there stuff in a relationship but you just can’t do it on a first date.
Touching Breasts in Public
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve grabbed my wife’s breasts in public. 99% of the time she’ll laugh. No I don’t make a spectacle of it or anything but I’ve definitely partaken in a grab here and there, and the wife is totally fine with it. Good luck pulling that off on date one.
Talking on your Phone
This is for both parties. I see a girl talk on her cell phone on a first date while we’re in the middle of a meal? Adios. And I’d hope a girl would kick my ass to the curb for doing the same thing. In a relationship? Ah, screw it.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff