May 26 2010
Kids These Days: Vodka “Eyeballing” a New Trend
What the hell is wrong with kids today? A new drinking trend is starting out there, and it’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
A new trend is raising some eyebrows, or more like, hurting some eyeballs! Doctors say some youngsters are trying out a new drinking game, where they pour vodka right into someone’s eyes. It’s called eyeballing.
“They’re not doing this eyeballing to get drunk, they’re doing it after they’re drunk and they’re drunk enough to act stupid. I haven’t seen any students doing anything like it, but I’ve definitely heard of it. I guess it gets ‘em drunker quicker. It just gets in their system quicker. They’re actually doing it as part of a fad. You know, I dare you to do this,” said Mike Gimbel, substance abuse expert.
Side effects of eyeballing include cornea scarring and possible blindness (surprise!), but hey, it gets you drunk faster! So there’s that!
Listen you dumbass teenagers. You want to get drunk faster? DRINK MORE. It’s called DRINKING for a reason. Now get off my lawn.
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