. Uncoached - What I'd Do if I were Back in High School |

May 12 2010

Five Things I’d Do Differently Back in High School if I Had the Brain I Have Now

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

High School

We’ve all said it.  We’ve all thought it.  “What if I could just go back to high school?”  Not only that.  What if you could go back to high school and have the same brain you have now.  After having learned so many life lessons and been through so much.   Good God can you even imagine how awesome it’d be?

Let’s not even talk about college because that’s a whole different subject.  But high school was this time where no one knew about anything.  I mean come on.  We still had pimples and were figuring out the best ways to masturbate.  We didn’t know shit.

But now?  I’d love just one more shot to get my ass back there.

Here are five things I’d do differently if in high school with the brain I have now….

Get Drunk During the Day


Let’s face it.  At no other time did life really mean less than in high school.  And let’s bear in mind that I have the brain I have now.  So if you’re gonna do drunk partying like you did in college you might as well get hammered as much as possible.  It’s not like you have a job to go to the next day.  It’s high school.  What a joke.

Constantly Challenge Teachers


For whatever reason there was this stigma in my head that I had to be nice to teachers.  That I couldn’t really challenge them or more to the point flat out say they were wrong despite being smarter than them.  Man what I wouldn’t give to just go back and tell the majority of them that they are idiots and pathetic.  Especially my high school basketball coach.  What an asshole that guy was.

Treat girls like Garbage

High School

I’m in the minority here but I just gave females WAY too much respect in high school.  In fact I acted way older than I should of.  I actually told girls what I felt.  I was nice to them.  I actually called the next day!  At no other time is getting girls a game than in high school.  Maybe in today’s world at my age being honest is a good thing.  But in high school?  If I had to go back I would make every female as insecure about themselves as possible.  It’s your best bet to get laid.

Learn to Make Money Online

Money Online

Imagine forming a website like this back in the late 90s?  Imagine being one of the “first to market?”  It’s like Perez Hilton or something.  The reason I bring this up is because if I had the brain I have now but in high school, by the time college rolled around I’d be making a couple grand a month off of a side gig.  Do you realize how much money that is to have in college?  Wow.

Cut Class Way More Senior Year

Cutting Class

Once you get into college what the hell is the point of going to class at all?  I’m pretty sure there isn’t any.  I should have ditched way more than I did.

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One response so far

  • nocturnesthesia

    if I had to go through high school again I’d probably have ended up in prison for beating the shit out of some of those douche canoes.



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