Many of us who have been inebriated from time to time will know that it often becomes difficult to perform even the most basic of tasks. Surely, we’ve all looked like idiots trying to open a door and eat a piece of pizza at one point or another, but nobody was filming it with a video camera.

But this poor soul wasn’t so fortunate as us, and now will have to live on the internet forever as the “guy who couldn’t put on his flip flop.” It really is an epic struggle, as you’ll see, and by the end I almost feel bad for the guy.

Moral of the story? Next time you’re drinking, wear shoes.

So here’s the situation.  It’s a Saturday, yes a Saturday and I post dated this entry because I’m watching my wife talk on the phone and I had this idea.  Of course it’s not exactly the most original idea in the world but as long as it involved attractive women who really gives a rat’s ass?

Sexy girls on phones!  How novel.   How amazing.  How simple.  There’s something hot about a woman who’s attention is diverted elsewhere.  It makes it that much more awesome when you get get that attention drawn to you.

So here are sexy girls talking on the phone

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Unfortunately for most colleges Spring Break is officially winding down.  There might be a few schools left out there who had late starts and God bless every single one of them.  I hope there’s plenty of sexual activity still happening and dumbass situations abound.

Of course I’m not getting completely nostalgic and having my own memories of Spring Break’s past.

I can’t help think of all the dumb shit I used to do back then and when you think about it there are some things you’re more than likely to do on Spring Break than anywhere else.

I’ve chosen five for your review

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Click on the photo for needlessly sexual Asian TV ads

You guys have heard my praise on Japanese commercials before.  And it’s not just the weird stuff having to do with nothing.  They’ve managed to bring sex and weird into the mix and believe you me, it’s not disappointing.

More not disappointing stuff at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Funbag

I can’t believe how hot Sheridan Bovell is – [Extramustard]

Doing a backflip with a big wheel is not easy – [Ace]

Candace Rae looks sensational in Ralph Magazine – [Guyism]

Nothing’s better than a celebrity “slip” – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

What if each NFL team picked a WAG? – [Bleacherreport]

Twenty of the scariest street performers – [Manofest]

Ten of the biggest and baddest jumps ever – [Gorillamask]

It sure looks like Scott Baio needs an assistant – [Cityrag]

Sophie Turner loves to wear the hand bras – [Heymanhustle]

Eric Estrada loves big butterfingers – [Attuworld]

Is this the most awesome music video of all time? – [Nedhardy]

By far the best cleavage picture of the year – [Ehowa]

Oh boy!  Looks like Snooki is back on the market! – [Flisted]

The Adriane Curry Twitter pic hall of fame – [EgoTV]

The Six types of Beer Pong teams you’ll encounter – [Collegehumor]

Jane Taylor is the sexy new girl on the street – [Sublime Blog]

You can always count on Emmanuelle Chriqui being hot – [Celebrity Odor]

Erin Andrews is rather flexible and busty – [Don Chavez]

Click on the photo to view the ultimate Laura Michelle Prestin gallery

Laura Michelle Prestin aka Miss Prestin is a blend of Canadian and Egyptian, giving her a rather amazing look.  In 2007 she was voted Miss Toronto Canadian Swimwear Model of the Year and to put it mildly, she has an incredible body.

More incredible bodies at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

When it comes to safety and morals animals are very much like children.  You can only teach them so much but when they screw up all you can really say is “well, they’re kids, what can you expect?”

It’s like when a Tiger rips someone’s arms off even though it’s a fully trained animal.   Do you blame the Tiger?  Hell no.  It’s an animal you idiots.  At some point it’s gonna flip out.

So you can’t blame little dogs and cats when they make a mess of your house if you leave them alone.  Here are some fun examples

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See that picture up there? What do you think caused it? Shifting plates in the earth’s crust? WRONG! The answer is of course, boobs.

At least that’s what one Iranian cleric, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, believes, as he recently went on a diatribe blaming slutty women for the increased occurrence of earthquakes around the world.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Sedighi said.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” he asked during a prayer sermon on Friday.

“There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Ah yes, the old “adultery leads to earthquakes” scientific fact we’ve all known about for years now. Is it because the earth is rocking from too much extra-martial sex?

Needless to say, the clerics proclamation has made many women’s groups upset, so much so that they’re calling for a national holiday, one we can all get behind: Boobquake Day is Monday, April 26th, and women all over the world are invited to wear their most revealing shirts so when there’s no earthquake that monday, they can prove that cleric wrong. Just to be sure, I think they should do it for about a month.

For those of you who don’t know Jaime Koeppe there is a famous internet picture (which I have featured below) that you will most certainly recognize.  It’s been featured in a zillion motivational posters that say “perfect ass.”  And let me just add that this phrase couldn’t be any more accurate.

Jaime is a fitness model and while I think her arms have grown a little too big for my taste over the past few years, I would welcome, hell beg for the opportunity for her to completely manhandle me in every way possible.

Jaime, you are a force to be reckoned with and I wish you great success.

More of Koeppe after the jump

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When saving this image, I just title it “crazy splits dude,” because I could think of no other way to describe it, nor do I know who he’s actually supposed to be. Clearly, he’s in some sort of costume, and he’s at what looks to be a convention, but a convention for what? The World Association of Insane Gymnasts?

If anyone has any idea who this dude is supposed to be, let me know, but I almost think it’s more fun to leave it as an enduring mystery, as whatever character he’s trying to emulate, I’d almost hate to see what the real thing looked like.

How can a dude that chunky do the splits that well? I’m showing this to my girlfriend, “If he can do it, you can too!”