While Laetitia Milot isn’t nearly as hot, I feel like she’s France’s version of Cristina Del Basso.   And by no means am I saying Laetitia isn’t attractive.  In fact she’s very attractive.  It’s just that Cristina Del Basso is all world.

The only reason I even make the Del Basso comparison is because Milot does a lot of reality TV.  So when flaunting her incredible rack, she gives off this vibe that I get from her Italian counterpart.

Milot has also done some modeling for FHM and is trying to be more of an actress in France.

More of Laetitia after the jump

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I’m not going to be so childish as to suggest that this picture implies that newly (hah) gay Ricky Martin and President Bush were anything other than enthusiastic dance partners.

I am however, childish enough to suggest that had that not been the case, and Bush and Ricky Martin were secret lovers, that really would have been the greatest news story of all time. Bill and Monica who? Bush/Martin would have been etched into the history books as the most hilarious thing to happen in our country’s history.

When I get elected president, I’m launching a CIA probe to prove this connection. If none exists, I’ll make it up. Lord knows we could use a laugh to come from his eight years in office. Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face just didn’t cutting it.

If the North Korea filmed a knockoff of Sesame Street, and you watched it while tripping acid, I think it would look something like this.

That being said, you really can’t argue with the fundamental message about watching what you put into your mouth. You really should listen to the friendly lion at the end when he says “always ask someone you love before you put something in your mouth.”

Truly, words to live by.

As we continue our quest around the world to find the hottest nightclub girls, I kind of knew something special would happen once we landed in Greece.  As most of you may know by now,  Italy and Greece are my top two for favorite lands of hot women.  The Latin countries are a distant third.

So you can imagine when I came across this Athens night club gallery I would be excited.  And boy did they not disappoint.  You see here in the states if you were confronted with this much hotness you might be intimidated.  But there?  There I feel like it’s so common that girls have no idea how hot they are.  At least at this club it seems that way.

What breath of fresh air that would be.   Seriously I think this club has like 75% hottie ratio which is unheard of.  If there’s only place to trump this club it’s Italy but for now, enjoy the pics

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I’m not big on spending too much time in the bathroom and I especially don’t want to spend any time in the stalls.   But I suppose if I have to be in there for longer than a few minutes it would be nice to have some short span of entertainment.

That’s why you have to appreciate those folks that do like to spend their time in the bathroom.  They do find it important to write pointless drivel on the walls for all of us to see.  And they should be glad that someone like myself recognized their efforts and gives them the recognition they deserve.

So to honor these brave souls, here are some writing you might see while taking a piss or dropping a deuce

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Click on the photo for more of Constantina Vaiopouloy

I’m definitely not writing that name again but let’s just say that she’s kind of attractive.   And since there’s not much info on her let’s just say she’s some local Greek girl who got Maxim’s attention…and now mine.

More attention getters at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Funbag

The Evolution of “Cougar” to Crazy in Older women Dating – [Cracked]

One of the best splits you’ll see all day – [Ehowa]

Chinese soldier fails hard at throwing grenade – [Linkiest]

If you need a celebrity “slip” go here – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

The funniest self defense lesson ever – [Gorillamask]

Delicious food is flying in your face, watch out! – [Atom]

Some of the funniest “beware” signs of all time – [Manofest]

You have to admit this Johnny Weir guy is hilarious – [OMGBlog]

Ten past presidents who loved to party – [Guyism]

Just in case you missed the hump day hotty fest – [Funtasticus]

Hey, even Jewish people like Lady Gaga too – [Attuworld]

A fine tribute to hot sci-fi girl Tricia Helfer – [Nedhardy]

Kelly Brook sizzles in new lingerie ad – [Flisted]

Nothing’s more fun than a gallery of Japanese schoolgirls – [Cavemancircus]

Vinda Guerra is dressed as a naked tiger – [Don Chavez]

I would definitely spend time with Asa Akira – [Sublime Blog]

Twenty five terrifying Easter bunnies – [Holytaco]

I still think Lis Rinna is incredibly hot – [Cityrag]

Click on the photo for more of Isabeli Fontana

Well it’s certainly no surprise that Isabeli is from Brazil.  Brazil might as well be called a “model factory” for all the tail it pushes out.  What in the hell is in the water over there?  I have absolutely no clue what they are doing to people there but I’m hoping we get infected by it.

More wishful infections at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

If you’re a super male then you might be into stuff like this.  Once in a while I’ll tune into Auto Blog for some amazing stories about crappy cars that are turned into virtual works of art.   I mean there are talented mechanics out there who can do this stuff in their spare time.  Who can come up with 300 grand these days?

Hell if you’ve got the skills you might only need 5 grand.  That’s a crazy amount of savings.  Take this Pontiac for example.  With a little elbow grease you can turn it into a Lamborghini.

Check out the transformation after the jump

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What to do when an attempted sex act with a vegetable almost gets you killed? Just say it was a suicide bid! That’s what Chin Wei, a Hong Kong man said after he was rushed to the hospital with a cucumber in his ass.

“Chin Wei, 62, said the method was a variation of the Japanese ritual suicide hara-kiri – usually carried out with a sword plunged into one’s own stomach.”

Brilliant save! If only his ancestors were around to see him live out their rich and honorable traditions. I mean, what modern Japanese man has a katana laying around his house these days? He had to go for the next best thing, a cucumber! And everyone knows a cucumber can’t pierce a stomach, so naturally, he had to look elsewhere.

Thank god he didn’t die, I’m guessing his ancestors would have just taken turns pissing all over him in Japanese hell for all eternity.