You know what the best present for a little kid is? Searing, permanent emotional scars. At least what a lot of parents are thinking when they hire Dominic Deville (seen above), the evil clown who will stalk your kid for a week, break into their house and…splatter them with cake. Observe the process.

Dominic Deville stalks young victims for a week, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes.

He posts notes warning children they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked.

‘The child feels more and more that it is being pursued,’ said Deville.

‘The clown’s one and only aim is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, during the course of seven days.’

Are you motherf-ing kidding me? Dominic says “if at any point the kids gets scared, we stop right there.” Uh, I’m sorry, but isn’t that the point? You think a kid who sees this thing pop out of their bushes is goin to start bursting out laughing?

Well, yes according to Dominic, he’s sanctioned by the official clown guild of Clowns International (yes, of course that exists), where their motto is “Bringing a little bit of life and laughter into kids’ lives is what we are all about.” You hear that Dominic? Life and laughter, not near-death and terror.

What can we say about Laurena Lacey?  Well let’s start with the fact that she was Miss Ireland Hawaiian Tropic in 2008 even though she’s Australian.  I would imagine that’s a tough feat to accomplish.

In terms of other info?   Well, I can’t really find her in anything past the year 2008 which is a little uncool.   She’s been in Playboy and Zoo which I assume means she’s willing to go topless so that’s always a good thing.

And then there’s the accent.  Yup, I like her.

More of Laurena after the jump

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It’s not every day I quote Robert Frost while writing for Uncoached, but I felt it appropriate given what we’re witnessing here.

I imagine this is the tale of two brothers. Chip, the goofy sweater wearing fellow on the right, who spends his days doing volunteer work at the local rescue mission, and Dale, the tattooed mother-f’er who has returned home as the prodigal son on Christmas Day. Probably to rob the house for meth money, despite what his sweatshirt may say.

What does the future hold for these two? Only time will tell, but I bet it involves jail/a fresh batch of cupcakes. I’ll leave it to you to imagine which goes with which.

All she wanted to do was practice her Single Ladies dance. All he wanted to do was practice his future SWAT team skills.  Those two things rarely go together.

“HANDS UP!”

Chaos erupts as she flies across the room, knocking over chairs and posters alike. Realizing that there are no criminals to be found, the young hero assesses the young lady’s situation. “Are you alright?”

“MOOOOM!”

I’m still having a tough time deciding whether I like bike show girls or car show girls better.   Let me break it down as best as I can.  The car show girl has the ability to drape.  Drape meaning lay herself flat and all sexy like on the hood of the car.  That way you can imagine her on a rotating bed.

On the flip site there’s the bike show girl.  She does the straddle.  This gives men the impression of a woman wrapping her legs around us.  I must say that both scenarios are enticing and I’d have to give them a tie.  What it really comes down to is Europe vs. the US.  And Europe still takes the cake on any auto or cycle show.

Most times these girls dance on poles.  Enough said.

Enjoy these 20 delicious bike show babes

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As most of you know I was a tremendous fan of the WWF, yes “F” as a kid.  Now it’s the WWE because of wildlife and foundations and animals and stuff.   But back in the day is when I used to love wrestlers and their antics.  I mean it’s virtually the same today only now there’s twice the athleticism and 100 times the soap opera element.

And since these guys are so animated you would figure someone would be creating funny photoshops of them in different scenarios by now.  Well, up until this point I really haven’t seen any.

Luckily I’ve managed to capture a nice gallery of the old school WWF guys in “different” scenarios.

Enjoy

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Click on the photo for sports teams hottest WAGs

Teams all around the world compete in their respective leagues. But when they are put up against every single professional sports team in the world, competing for the right to say their team has the hottest WAGs, who tops the list.

More hottie contests at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Wash

Check out this surprise bench press ending – [Heavy]

I always enjoy a good Mila Kunis gallery – [Maxim]

Now this is what you can an action sequence – [Manofest]

If you’re looking for celebrity skin go here – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

Meet the chick we all thought was Megan Fox – [Guyism]

Jersey Shore cast takes pics with Bar Refaeli – [Brobible]

When porn stars aren’t wearing their makeup – [Cavemancircus]

Check it out.  An incredibly angry police chief – [Atom]

This is something you certainly don’t see everyday – [The DW]

By far the hottest athlete you’ll see all day – [Onequickbeer]

Teen athletes arrested for making out with girls – [Regretfulmorning]

Sydney Barlette is a girl I like to remember – [Sublime Blog]

The 20 greatest Monty Python sketches – [Attuworld]

Everything you wanted to know about Japan – [Nedhardy]

Sarah Mutch is one of the hottest Canadians out there – [Don Chavez]

Do you realize how hot Leryn Franco is? – [Holytaco]

No wonder Jennifer Metcalfe was on TV – [Spewf]

Does it really matter who this woman is? – [Cityrag]

Click on the photo for a slutty Lindsay Lohan shoot

Lindsay Lohan is said to be broke.  I couldn’t feel less bad for a person if I tried.  I guess Lindsay is trying to make ends meet and is taking on all kinds of jobs.  You know, like slutty photoshoots.  I really hope she turns to porn.

More porn hopefuls at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

Has anyone ever witness true Foosball greatness? Personally I’m not a huge fan of this recreational game but if you’ve ever seen guys that are ridiculously good at it, it’s definitely a site to behold.

Honestly I just wouldn’t have the patience to get that good.  Sure I guess it’s fun once in a while but it’s really annoying to line up all the little guys and work both arms at once, etc etc.  I’d rather just watch TV.

Still though, if you’re into Foosball then I’m sure you’d want to pay on one of these 10 tables.

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