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Apr 22 2010

The Only Five Realistic Ways to Quit Internet Porn (That will Never Happen)

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

Internet Porn

Notice the wedding ring on her finger?  Dirty

Just by looking at the picture above you’re already screwed.  If an image like that gets to you (which is sure as hell does me) then your chances of going a day without looking at some form of internet porn are about 0.   Internet porn is very much like a drug.  You have a relationship with it and tell yourself you can quit at anytime.

But then a simple image like this will trigger those hormones and you’re off to the races.  It happens to me.  It happens to you and it will happen again.  There are times I hate myself and want to get rid of this porn.  And clearly there are times I embrace it.

However, what if you really really wanted to kick the porn bucket?  Is there any way to do it?  I’ve come up with five ways, possibly the only ways to quit internet porn….

Removing the Internet Entirely

Internet

As we all know this will never, ever happen but it’s the only sure fire way in the existence of the universe to rid people from watching porn.  I guess if the entire internet had a porn filter it would work but again, things that will never happen.  Basically what I’m saying is that the power of porn is so damned strong that you’d virtually have to shut off the world to stop it.

Remove your penis or vagina

Bobbit

Yup.  Get rid of your masturbation tool and you’ve got absolutely zero reason to watch porn.  But even then I feel like if I didn’t have a penis there’d be something to play with.  Like even the slightest sensation might do it for me thus restarting my thirst for internet porn.  Still though, I’d probably lay off for a long time if someone bobbited me.

Be a Full Time Parent Sitting at your Computer desk

Parenting

If by some chance I never, ever left my computer desk and I had a child with me 24 hours a day I think I could avoid watching porn.  However, it’s most likely when the kids are like 3 and above.  Because before that, what the hell do they know?

Go to a Sex Addiction Meeting even if you’re not a sex addict

Tiger

This is one of those stare tactic methods that just might work.  Kind of like if you smoke weed and talk to a crack addict who tells you it all started with smoking weed.  These meetings are pretty messed up and the lengths people go to quench their sex addiction is pretty damned far.  It just might scare you straight.  But I doubt it.

Kill Yourself

Suicide

Well I know in the title I wrote “that will never happen” and I hope to God that this never does happen to you.  But if I had to make an honest assessment of my life and porn I would say nothing short of killing myself would get me to stop looking at pornographic images.  It’s just that impossible.





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3 responses so far

  • Old Person

    I saw the pills and thought “Zoloft for everyone”! There are medications with the opposite effect of a famous blue pill.

  • http://www.jokesboy.com JokesBoy

    LOL, one more way is to delete all porn from your computer, all bookmarks, install strongest filter make it hard for yourself to reach porn. But is porn really that bad that we need to find ways to get rid of it?

  • http://newlifehabits.com/ Porn addiction

    I have many people visiting my blog looking for help. Actually it has increased over the past couple years at an alarming rate. They may be more comfortable to seek help or the actual problem itself has increased but it is very apparent.

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