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Apr 16 2010

The Only 5 Realistic Ways You’re Ever Having Sex with a Hot Stripper

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

Strip Club

It’s every guy’s dream while at a strip club.  It’s also every guy’s complete idiotic delusion.  “Oh she’s definitely into me.”  “She’s giving me her number!”  “I’m so getting laid.”  No.  No you’re not.  You have absolutely zero chance at having sex with the strippers at the strip club you are currently visiting.

I’m still amazed that so many guys get sucked into this stuff.  Fellas, they are doing their jobs.  They are there to make money.  They are not there to blow you, have sex with you, or call you a dick.  They are there to be nice, strip, and make money.  That is all.  So while you think these woman dig you, they don’t.

However, I’m here to rescue all you guys from your wallets.  If you really want to have sex with a hot stripper, here are the five realistic ways you will accomplish this feat…

You spend tons of Money


Let’s be realistic here.  Your average Joe has about zero shot at actually getting laid at a strip club.  However, if you have a super amount of money to spend then you just never know.  Clearly the champagne room is your best shot but honestly fellas, you’re looking at probably 5 grand or even more just to do what you probably could if you got drunk enough and hit on some ugly chick.  I mean is it really worth it?  Probably not.

You Own the Strip Club

Strip Club Owner

Dare I say “testing” the merchandise?  I’m sure, in fact positive there are some seedy ass strip clubs out there where some under the table dirty deeds are done between employee and boss.  Not that I’d ever want to be a part of that but like I said, there has to be plenty of instances of this around.

You Too Are a Hot Stripper


Ain’t nothing wrong with a little mixing of business and pleasure.  Oh and I’m referring to female strippers so fellas, don’t get any ideas here.

You are a Celebrity (Actor or Rock Star or Athlete)


This kind of falls in line with the money thing but not all famous people are rich.  And if you happen to be famous a stripper might very well use her sexual powers to try and get herself into the limelight as well.

You Get Extremely Lucky at That Particular Moment


I’ve seen it happen.  You just never know.  Maybe once or twice a year all of us experience moments that are too good to be true.  So with the right moment and timing, you just might find a stripper at her most vulnerable moments where she feels like giving you a little more than just a lap dance.

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4 responses so far

  • http://goodstuff4u.multiply.com/photos/album/19/HOT_CHICKS_AND_NSFW_BLOGROLL goodstuff

    it’s good to be a capitlist pig

    [photo blog] Maybe money can’t buy true love. However, some capitalist pigs get some hot lovers.

  • http://www.jokesboy.com JokesBoy

    LOL look at thst first pic, as if he is dreaming about kissing at her () .. v funny

  • steve

    or if you have a big bag of coke that usually works

  • AJ

    I’ve actually been laid twice in legit strip clubs here in the good old USA, and i am not a celebrity, not rich and didn’t have any drugs. In fact, one of the times I didn’t even have any money. I got laid and then almost got killed by a bouncer….but swear to god, I got laid.

    I am still not exactly sure how and why i was able to pull it off either time, but it really happened and neither place was a “hole” in the wall. The first time was July 3rd 3 summers ago, during the day, at a place in NJ and the second was about 3 weeks ago, in Philly. Oh yeah, plus both times the girls were white (and I am a white dude).

    Sometimes, we all get lucky



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