. Uncoached - First Date Signals that She's Not Girlfriend Material |

Apr 13 2010

Five Definitive First Date Signs That She’s Not Girlfriend Material

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial


I’m a married man but once upon a time dating was a huge part of my life.  There was a period for about a year where I’d literally average one to two dates a week, which I assume by most standards is a lot (Thanks Jdate!).

The one good thing about dating a ton is that you learn a lot about not only dating as a whole, but what you want in a person.  Each date is a chance to get you that much closer to your ideal person (or the closest thing you can find).

Along the way I picked up plenty of things but what I learned most were things that I did NOT want to see in a female.  After a while I could spot these things on a first date.

Fellas, if your girl does any of this stuff on date one, drop her right then and there



Yup. Sex.  Sure getting laid is awesome and you can brag to all your dudes about it but if a girl can’t restrain herself on the first date there’s a good chance she’s kind of slutty.  Look, I’m in my 30s and am mature enough to realize we’re all adults here and that sex is inevitable.  I’ll even allow date 2 to slide for first sexual experience.  But after the first?  At least restrain yourself once ladies.  We’ll respect you more.

Blatant Cell Phone Use


I can understand a cell phone being on (not really).  I know that we’re in a technological age.  But I will say this.  If that cell phone rings and the girl answers?  Adios.  There must be an immediate shut off.  And, if cell phone use is going to happen there must be prior warning and the call better damned well be important.  I can’t stand when my own wife is on her phone let alone a first date.

The Non Reach for the Purse at the End of the Meal


I think it’s a pretty established rule that guys generally pay for the first date.  At least that’s why I believe.  But at the end of the meal if the girl doesn’t at least show the gesture of reaching for her purse to pitch in then she’s selfish and thankless.  That is simply not cool in my book.  And personally I think it’s a sign of who she is which in my eyes would not bode well long term.

Not Saying Thank You

Holding Door

This kind of follows the not reaching for the purse thing.  Even if the date sucked and the guy treats, you say thank you, period.  Luckily I’ve only had one or two dates where the girl didn’t say thank you and needless to say there was zero contact afterwards.   This is like if you hold the door open for a person and they don’t say thank you.  I mean really?  Are you this much of an ass?

Lateness Without Cause


I guess this one depends on who you are as a person.  I happen to be an “on time” guy.  Five minutes is one thing.   I get that.  But when you hit the 15 minute mark there’s gotta be a damned good explanation.  I have friends who have actually left before the date started because the girl didn’t even call to explain her lateness.  While this is kind of extreme, I can empathize.

Best of luck finding the one fellas.

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7 responses so far

  • denver dude

    How about the “Unlock the car door and open it for her then see if she unlocks the car so you can get in.”

    If she doesn’t she fails life

  • salt lake dude

    Ok, so how do you get a date? Seriously? 10 years ago it was easy, now it’s like impossible and I think my appearance has improved.

  • http://edgruberman.wordpress.com Ed Gruberman

    She gets drunk and pukes/passes out before dessert. It’s always a bad sign.

  • Bill Mitchell

    If at the end of the night when she hugs you she does the following:

    1. Pats you on the back,
    2. Retracts her breasts so as not to press them against you,

    it means you are in the “friends” zone and never having sex.

    P.S., NEVER ask a woman if you can kiss her and NEVER shake her hand. Kiss her once lightly and see how she responds – if she comes back for a little more, you are golden. If she is happy with a tony peck, you may have a problem. I think a hug is better at the end of a first date because you can read more from that.

    Women don’t realize that a man can easily spend $200-$300 on a date that involves just dinner and dancing. You don’t want to just be her meal ticket for the evening if she’s not into you.

  • Bill Mitchell

    Here’s another tip. About halfway through the evening, give her the silent treatment and see if she has the personality to drive the conversation. This is hard for alpha male types, but if you are too gregarious, she will think ur a player and won’t trust you.

    Also, #1 rule, even if you are just kidding, NEVER say anything that could be interpreted as narcissistic or arrogant, and don’t seem AT ALL concerned about your own appearance. They may say they want a sensitive guy but they don’t – they want a caveman. Also, never tell a pretty girl she is pretty – everyone tells her that – act like you don’t even notice her looks, it will drive her nuts.

    Last thing – if you want to sleep with this woman, MAKE HER LAUGH. If the conversation goes to anything philosophical or serious STOP. Keep it light and have some good stories to tell about funny things that happened to you.

  • Anon

    Meh, most of these guys wouldn’t really care much about these at all, if she is reasonably hot and isn’t too uptight.

  • Mercedes

    Bill Mitchell, you are made of win!! As a woman, I can tell you that pretty much everything you said is true. Kudos, you must get laid quite often!! lol



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