I’m not going to be so childish as to suggest that this picture implies that newly (hah) gay Ricky Martin and President Bush were anything other than enthusiastic dance partners.

I am however, childish enough to suggest that had that not been the case, and Bush and Ricky Martin were secret lovers, that really would have been the greatest news story of all time. Bill and Monica who? Bush/Martin would have been etched into the history books as the most hilarious thing to happen in our country’s history.

When I get elected president, I’m launching a CIA probe to prove this connection. If none exists, I’ll make it up. Lord knows we could use a laugh to come from his eight years in office. Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face just didn’t cutting it.