At first I thought I was looking at an audition for a live-action remake of Kung Fu Panda, but no, I think that someone literally taught a monkey karate without fully understanding the inevitable consequences.

To be fair, even if it did kick my ass every so often, there would be nothing more badass than an actual monkey bodyguard who would follow you around and whoop people who messed with you. “Oh, you spilled a drink on my shoe? Go Bananas on him Mojo!”

I do have to imagine that all the “Your monkey tore my client’s face off” lawsuits would probably get old after a while though. The moral of the story here? Get your ninja monkey bodyguard a muzzle.