It’s not often that you are about to get on an elevator and admire the advertisements on it.  The coolest feature I’ve ever seen on an elevator is when they occasionally have TV’s inside that tell you the weather or have the latest news.  It’s funny because elevator ads didn’t even exist just a few short years ago.

Elevator advertising is one of those things – and it’s gaining momentum as one of the hottest marketing venues in the country.
One of the most attractive aspects of elevator advertising is the sheer number of people it reaches. The average number of riders in a high-rise building is 500 people per day. Over a six month period, that amounts to more than 90,000 views of your ad – a significant amount of attention for any small business.

I can’t wait until there’s a dual elevator in a building where the left elevator is a left breast and the right elevator is a right breast and it’s a “Got Milk?” campaign.

Until then we’ll have to deal with these 9 elevator ads.

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You know how you see 3 boobs on a woman in the movie Total Recall?  We all kind of joke about it in real life and how awesome it would be.  But let me tell you something.  If you actually saw that on a woman you’d probably freak out.

Same goes for these guests on the Tyra Banks show.  2 Vaginas?  No thanks.  A left one and a right one?  Just hearing their stories seriously gives me the willies.

Let me tell you why a girl like Nikki Sims rules.  Because she’s the equivalent to any hot girl you’ve ever known in your life and said to yourself “why can’t that girl just pose naked all the time and exploit how hot she is?”  Allow me to to introduce Nikki, a girl who does just that.

She has made a career out of pretending to be that younger girl next door, and taking off her clothes for years now.   According to her Myspace Page she’s moved on from being that Next Door Nikki to just plain Nikki Sims.

Um, what’s the difference?  She still poses naked all the time.

Non nude but awesome shots after the jump

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As Wesley Snipes awaits jail (he’s still free on bail while appealing his tax evasion case) the man continues to work and make dough.   I assume he won’t be paying any taxes on these earnings either but obviously the stress is taxing on both his age and skin color.

Come on NY1, clean it up!

There’s impressive frat stuff and there’s impressive frat stuff.   Most fraternity “events” and feats revolve around super homoerotic lameness.  I admit that I partook in plenty of this stupidity.

But when you want to talk about real skill, this is damned impressive.

So I’m just kind of sitting her right now looking at the picture you see above this sentence.   And this picture is telling in so many ways.   It’s a soft (or hard) reminder of a life that many of us will never have.  It’s a reminder of the kinds of fantasies that will never get fulfilled.  It’s an absolute slap to the face that wakes me up and puts me in a reality I refuse to call real.

I mean would you look at those shorts please?  Will you?  Can you?  How is this possible?  How is life possible?  Is anyone even reading this? Because I seriously doubt that you are.   I know I’m not even focusing on writing it.

And the socks…oh the socks…

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Amazingly enough in all my years I have yet to eat at the famous Kentucky Fried Chicken.  In all honesty I have absolutely no clue why.  I really like fried chicken and I’ve been to Popeye’s and Roy Rogers back in the day.  Yet for some reason I just haven’t visited Mr. Sanders yet.

And now that I’m past 30 years old I feel like it’s kind of cool that I’ve never been there.  I think I’ll make it a point to never eat KFC, ever.

For whatever reason there must be some other KFC haters out there because there’s an entire site dedicated to forming ridiculous KFC signs that I happen to enjoy.

I’ve chosen 15 for your review.

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Click on the photo for kama sutra sex tapes that will blow you away

Well it turns out there’s a big difference between adopting moral platitudes from thousands of years ago, and trying out their sex advice. Some of the “tips” from the Kama Sutra seem to be setting people up for serious injury should they be performed incorrectly.

Setting up for only good times at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Funbag

Drinks named for athletes and how to make them – [Collegehumor]

She banged you on the first date, what now? – [Regretfulmorning]

A bunch of sexy Christina Hendricks pictures – [Holytaco]

When you need a celebrity “slip” moment go here – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

One of the funniest pranks of all time – [Nedhardy]

Some bullshit happening somewhere – [Ace]

Walmart customers asked to leave due to being black – [Guyism]

Videos of people chugging tons of alcohol – [Cavemancircus]

A look at what Rocky 7 would be – [Attuworld]

A fine gallery of epic revenge photos – [Manofest]

I still can’t get enough St Patty’s hotties in my head – [Ehowa]

Heidi Montag’s money spent was well worth it (boobwise) – [Flisted]

Banned commercial of heartburn turned heartache – [Atom]

15 girls who love Jameson’s Irish Whiskey – [Brobible]

A surprisingly awesome fight sequence in Indian movie – [Linkiest]

Jennifer Aniston decides to go commando – [Cityrag]

In case you missed your hump day hotties – [Funtasticus]

Marisa Miller’s Victoria’s secret newest pictures – [Don Chavez]

Click on the photo for more girls in tubs

Thankfully our good friends at Maxim never run out of topics with the women they recruit to pose in awesome situations with.  Read that sentence again.  Yes, it was a complete sentence.   It just looked weird.

More great ideas and sentences at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio