. Uncoached - The Weirdest Kinds of Handshakes |

Mar 31 2010

The Various Types of Crappy Handshakes

Published by at 7:20 am under Uncategorized


Ever run into someone you know that you haven’t seen for a while and gotten completely stuck in a weird greeting?  Like if it’s someone from the opposite sex you’re not sure if you kiss them on the cheek.  If it’s someone of the same sex what kind of a grip do you give?  Tough?  Weak?  Stale fish?

There are just so many variables that we don’t really take into account that will affect the outcome of that greeting.  Luckily for us the work has kind of been done by a site called The Oatmeal.

They’ve charted 9 different types of awkward handshakes and I’ve decided to add my thoughts

Crappy Handshakes

Definitely can be embarrassing.   It’s best when your hands wind up touching a boob.

Crappy Handshakes

Good God I’ve been shaken like this and I literally wanted to kill the other person.  And yet I’ve also shaken someone’s hand like this and felt like a total moron doing so.

Crappy Handshakes

Crappy Handshakes

I use the term “stalefish.”  I hate to use the word “gay” here but this couldn’t be any more gay if a shake was gay.   I absolutely hate when this happens.

Crappy Handshakes

Get the f*ck away from me dude.

Crappy Handshakes


Crappy Handshakes

I got nothing here.

Crappy Handshakes


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