Ever run into someone you know that you haven’t seen for a while and gotten completely stuck in a weird greeting?  Like if it’s someone from the opposite sex you’re not sure if you kiss them on the cheek.  If it’s someone of the same sex what kind of a grip do you give?  Tough?  Weak?  Stale fish?

There are just so many variables that we don’t really take into account that will affect the outcome of that greeting.  Luckily for us the work has kind of been done by a site called The Oatmeal.

They’ve charted 9 different types of awkward handshakes and I’ve decided to add my thoughts

Definitely can be embarrassing.   It’s best when your hands wind up touching a boob.

Good God I’ve been shaken like this and I literally wanted to kill the other person.  And yet I’ve also shaken someone’s hand like this and felt like a total moron doing so.

I use the term “stalefish.”  I hate to use the word “gay” here but this couldn’t be any more gay if a shake was gay.   I absolutely hate when this happens.

Get the f*ck away from me dude.

Dissed.

I got nothing here.

Vile.