Mar 01 2010
As I approach the age of 31 I’ve begun to do some reflecting on my life. I’m not 100% I’m where I thought I’d be when I said to myself “I wonder where I’ll be ten years from now” at the age of 21. I’m now married, thinking about a house, introducing the subject of children, and worrying about retirement in 30 years.
Jesus Christ I never thought this would be me. But here it is. I’m an adult. And it’s damned weird to be one. Things just aren’t the same as they used to be and I’ve taken notice of it. Granted I’m not “old” in the old sense. Like I can still walk and stuff. But still, there are big changes that have taken place over the years.
And upon this reflection I’ve noticed 5 major things that happen as one gets older but isn’t that old.
How Long a Hangover Lasts
This is by far the number one on this list. Anyone who is over the age of 25 can attest to this one. In college we were invincible. You could party until 3, go to class the next day, take a nap and go out the next night at 11PM and pull it off 5 days a week. Honestly I don’t know how the hell I did that. Today? It’s not documented anywhere but I’m pretty sure if I go out on a Friday I’m not fully recovered until Tuesday of the next week. If it’s a long night? Wednesday.
Movie and TV Quotes are Outdated
Man do I feel old when I quote something out of Ace Ventura or Back to the Future and my 19 year old cousin says something like “What’s Back to the Future?” I mean for Christ’s sake I may be over 30 but I’m not using a walker dammit. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for my parents when I don’t know what they’re referencing. Now I know how it feels.
Calling it a Night at 8:30 on a Friday
Let’s face it. More often than not when you’ve gotten finished with an entire work day on a Friday you’re really not all that geeked up to go out. It’s WAY easier to just order in some Chinese and fall asleep in front of the television. I guess because I’m married this holds true a bit more. Still though, even as a single guy I went out way less. You just don’t care anymore.
Muscle Soreness after Sports
Since when was I limping around for 6 days after playing basketball for 2 hours? What in God’s name is happening to my body here. I think I might actually have arthritis. I mean, arthritis man. Really? How is this possible? Do I have to be one of those guys that stretches for 20 minutes before doing anything now? I’m very nervous about this. Recovery time ain’t what it used to be. I think I need to do steroids.
Much Harder to Tell Young People’s Ages
I have no idea how old these girls are
I think this works in both directions. Just the other day I saw this kid who I literally thought was 15 and I found out he was a senior in college. The next day I saw a group of girls who could have been 15 or 40. Seriously I had no idea. The youth of today puzzles me and guessing ages is futile. Not to mention, are all young people out there obnoxious? As my buddy Eds says, you listen to these “youths” speak and think to yourself, “I was never this much of a douchbag.”
“I Don’t Remember it Being Like That When I was a Kid” Starts
You find yourself using that line more and more often. No explanation needed here.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff