I think it’s safe to say you have never heard sounds like this before.  And they come from Koalas no less?  If it weren’t for the completely asinine narrating from this dork filming the fight, this might be one of the coolest videos of the week.

Unfortunately this dude kind of ruins it.  Still though.  These noises have to be picked up and used in a dinosaur movie or something.

Every year it happens in January and every year I don’t have the balls to buy a ticket.  I, like many men out there have a fond relationship with porn.  It’s like it’s own life force if you will.   I am happy with porn.  I am angry with porn.  I 100% have a relationship with porn despite having never met a female pornstar.

Notice I said female.  When I was in college I went to a Dennis Rodman birthday party thing at this club called the Redroom.  And what did I wind up doing?  I hung out with Mr. Marcus the entire time.  This is a true story.  I still have the guy’s business card to this day.  On it read “Need Something?”  That guy is the man.  He’s also like 5 feet tall, a nice guy and he bought me at least 10 shots.

Ah college.  What a grand time.  Sorry guys.  I’m off the point.  Porn Stars.  That’s right.

Here are some great ones who were at this year’s AVN Awards

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Ever notice that when you open a Heineken it always smells a little skunky?  What the hell is up with that?  I mean I know that Heineken is a very good beer but it would be nice if it didn’t smell so weird.  Personally I’m a fan of Heineken Lights but whatever floats your boat I supposed.  Plus Heineken has a higher alcohol content than most beers so kudos on that.

And I have to admit that Heineken ads are clearly some of the best in the business.  While most are just badass commercials I hadn’t realized that they’ve got some great print campaigns as well.

Here are 10 you’ll enjoy

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Click on the photo for more women who like to get wet

While the act of sex itself in a body of water is kind of crappy that doesn’t mean I don’t like to see women in wet situations.  By the way the phrase “wet situations” doesn’t really sound all that great does it….Nah.  But so what?

More great “situations” at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Wash

Another fine edition of hotties in the wild – [Double Viking]

Just how stupid is the learning channel anyway? – [Cracked]

If you’re interested in geeky stuff give this a try – [Major Geeks]

If you want the latest celebrity “slips”…. – [Taxidrivermovie] (NSFW Ads)

Eve Angel doesn’t need to be in porn…she’s that hot – [Brobible]

Bar Refaeli’s bikini candids in Mexico – [NS4W]

Every Japanese Arnold Schwarzenegger commercial in 10 min – [Manofest]

The ways Tiger can win back Elin – [Attuworld]

I like it when Jessica Simpson gets groped – [OMG Blog]

The seven worst type of house guests – [Guyism]

New exotic girl next door makes me happy – [Bullzeye]

The 2010 Rio Carnival had some lovely women – [Sublime Blog]

A Ham Necklace is giving the new gift of love – [Atom]

Myleene Class having a wardrobe malfunction – [Don Chavez]

10 of the best celebrity WTF Pictures – [Celebrity Odor]

Funny and creative 404 Error pages – [Oddee]

When fashion chicks have wardrobe malfunctions – [Cityrag]

Check out the world’s tallest dog – [Flisted]

Know what goes great with beer?  Chicks – [The Chive]

Click on the photo for more of Cheryl Cole

Cheryl Cole remains and will continue to be my favorite singer in the world right now.   I’m not exactly happy that she’s married to a soccer player but what the hell else is new in the world?

Old news but great hotties at Uncoached’s Facebook Page

The Portfolio

Bachelor Parties, oh bachelor parties.  The land of Las Vegas.  It’s not real.  It’s officially not real in my eyes unless you live and work there.  And even then it’s gotta seem very odd that where you are is in fact a real place.

I’ve only been to Las Vegas once but when I was there I felt like I was in some kind of a dream world.  The women, the environment, everything there is set up so that you are living  fantasy.  And that’s just how they want it so you give them tons of your money.

Funny because I never really got a chance to look at the lovely Bellagio Fountain shows that run every 15 minutes.  For shame.

Well, here are some shots after the jump

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“Go ahead and play with those clean balls Denise.”  I’m sorry but nothing will ever match the Alec Baldwin ball skit on SNL.  The term “balls” is never going to get old.  Ever.

Did you know that Bianca Balti nearly never became a model?

At the beginning of her career, Balti was rejected by numerous agencies, such as Elite Model Management, for being “too average and common” looking.  Despite this, she was discovered by Bruno Pauletta n a supermarket, where she was working to finance her studies.

OMG! Can you believe that? Like, no way. In any event who cares? Normally I’m not into chicks that weigh like 40 lbs but Bianca is Italian so it voids out everything. She’s just way too good lucking for me to be bothered by anything.

More of Bianca after the jump

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No matter where I am in life a picture like this will never cease to amaze me.  Is there even a way to attempt an explanation here?  First of all, how old are these girls?

Second of all…how old are these girls?  Where do parties like this happen?  Can I get in?  Like how much does it cost?  Are these people all related?  Can I meet the old guy?  Please?  Pretty please?

The amount of stuff going on in this picture creates sensory overdrive.  I can’t sit still right now.